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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1712)	9/29/1999 11:30:00 AM
From: Zbyte	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

FINALLY...A Smart Blonde Joke...! A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officers says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked on the street, in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5000. and the interest which is $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us , is why would you bother to borrow $5000. ?" The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York, can I park my car for 2 weeks for $15.00?"

To: Susie924 who wrote (1712)	9/30/1999 3:05:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: Professor in dark Africa A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them Reading, Writing, Math, and Science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The members of the tribe are shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gave birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence... what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

To: Susie924 who wrote (1712)	9/30/1999 3:06:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist...he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the protective husband drove downtown to demand an apology from the druggist. Before the husband could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute... you gotta listen to my side of it: This morning my alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried to the car. Then I realized I had turned the lock on the front door, leaving house and car keys inside on the night stand. I had to break the bedroom window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire." "When I finally reached the store there was a crowd of impatient people, waiting for me to open. I heard the phone ringing off its hook as I unlocked the door, and it continued ringing as I tried to handle the customers. In my haste to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, they dropped all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick them up. The phone was still ringing and as I got up from the floor, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger against a showcase containing a display of perfume bottles...half of the bottles fell to the tile floor, spilling the liquid, stinking up the place, and splinters of glass everywhere." "The phone continued to ring...with no let up. When I finally managed to say 'hello', it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer...and I TOLD HER!!!!"