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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (39173)	10/5/1999 12:26:00 PM
From: Gauguin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

I think the garbonzo bean is the only readily available bean with three names. You have garbonzo, chick pea, and ceci bean. I tried a little bit to think of another bean with even two names, and that is too hard, but I did notice that some people call the same bean "white" and "navy." (Well, which is it?) GARBONZO is such a neat name! I like chick pea too, and ceci. I knew a girl in L.A. named Ceci. In Elementary School. I never knew, til maybe just now, where her name came from. (I still don't know what it means. Maybe it means round and fat.) I do remember thinking about it, wondering about it, at the time. Third grade I think. It was not a name like Suzie or Esmerelda or Cathy, and I wasn't sure you can use it. (Her dad said, "Well, Ceci is better than Lima. Or Sprout.") Did you know that all of the red lentils grown in America are grown 300 miles Northeast of here? All of them. Every single goddam one. It takes a very special machine to harvest them; called a Red Lentil Harvester. They were originally calling it the Blue Turkey Submarine, til they hit on Red Lentil Harvester. Really got sales going. No, I don't know that that really happened. I just made it up. You know where they grow these lentils? Huh? If you say you know the lentil capital of America, I bet you're fibbing. Write it on a piece of paper first. Now. Then I'll tell you. It's where they have the Pullman Lentil Festival. Ready? It's Pullman, Washington. Red lentil capital of America. It takes just the right, very right conditions, to grow red lentils. And they're very sparse in yield. So you need a lot of big dry hilly area, with nothing of value on it, and that's the one thing the wasteland of Pullman has going for it. Forget the GARBONZO! The red lentil is a very, very, festive legume. I've wanted to go to that with MJ. Didn't make it this year. Maybe next. Since the Gorge (Columbia) is very nice, you can drive up through there, out of the cloud-sock, past Goldendale (center of the 1980-something total solar eclipse), and past Sam Hill. ("Where in the Sam Hill?!" That's the one.) Once you get past where in the Sam Hill, you're really out in the where in the Sam Hill. Trust me. And red lentils can start to look pretty exciting. Lizards are the top of the food chain. Out where the Burma Shave signs say "Sage brush is free. Stuff some in your car." Out where they locate giant pig farms, so no one will complain, thank god, and you can spread them twenty miles apart, so Farmer A's pigs don't offend Farmer D's pigs. I think it's realsitic that you can smell a pig farm from twenty miles away. Even if you're buried in a cemetery. Even if you're on fire. Pig Parfum. Eau De'Pig. I'm going to see if there's a website for the Pullman Lentil Festival. I bet there is. Probably one of the first sites on the web, because there is nothing to do in Pullman, and they know it. Rural Northwest got wired early. It was my Techie's job. He did a bunch of it. He has six computers in his house, networking the rooms together. There's even one in the bathroom. Anyway, say you're a Pullmanite. And it's your job, The Committee's job, to think up the Big Draws of the Lentil Festival. I wish I had sat in on those meetings. "We can swap recipes!" "We'll hang a red lentil from all of the street signs!" "A Red Lentil Harvester Parade!" "We'll sell Coke and Pepsi!" "We'll have a big drawing, for ten thousand pounds of lentils!" "We'll have a Beano Booth, with a Beano Anti-flatulent Representative!" "We'll put the collection of lentil-like rocks people have found with their teeth on display with the teeth!" "We'll show how lentils can be transported inside a car!" I don't know. I'll look up the site and see what they do. I bet they have a Miss Red Lentil, though. That can't be avoided. Do you think Pullman is where the baron-guy built the railroad cars? That would make them a town of note twice. But I thought they were built back East. You know, that vague place, "back East." I am falling asleep. Better go.