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To: Night Writer who wrote (4509)	10/6/1999 4:54:00 PM
From: Mao II	Respond to of 12662

NW: Im shocked! And you, a veteran of the Houston Barnyard Wars! M2

To: Night Writer who wrote (4509)	10/6/1999 5:49:00 PM
From: Kenya AA	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12662

NW: I guess you should know the "real" answer <ggg> .... Why did the chicken cross the road? JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that. PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability. RONALD REAGAN I forget. KEN STARR I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Reverend Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.) CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you please define "chicken"? LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. ISAAC NEWTON A chicken at rest tends to stay at rest. A chicken in motion tends to cross the road. THOAMS de TORQUEMADA: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. BHUDDA (The CHICKAPADHA): If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature. SALVADOR DALI: The Fish. DARWIN: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. EMILY DICKINSON: Because it could not stop for death. RALPH WALDO EMERSON: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. JACK NICHOLSON: Truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause it fking wanted to. That's the fking reason. HENRY DAVID THOREAU: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. MARK TWAIN: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.