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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1752)	10/12/1999 11:08:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Prepare to Meet Your Maker... A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, "Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated virtually all our visibility." The passengers were numb with fear, except for one... a semi-retired minister... "Now, now, keep calm, folks" he said. "Let's all bow our heads and pray." Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray... except fellow near the back. "Why aren't you bowing your head to pray?" the minister asked. "Well, I don't know how to pray," replied the passenger. "Well, just do something religious!" piped up another well meaning passenger. So the man got up and started down the aisle passing his hat...

To: Susie924 who wrote (1752)	10/12/1999 5:36:00 PM
From: FREAKAZOID	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2380

Can the Bo Sox pull another Upset? Are the Yanks ripe to be beaten? This is going to be one interesting series. Will be really fun to see if the curse of the bambino rears it's ugly head, not to mention the modern day curse of Clemens. I really don't expect a sweep in this series by the Yanks, the question is how long can Boston keep N.Y at bay. Hmmmm freak!!

To: Susie924 who wrote (1752)	10/13/1999 12:19:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: "What is politics?" This little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about". The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit."

To: Susie924 who wrote (1752)	10/14/1999 6:35:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Cognitive Testing... Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test. The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc. The doctor says to the lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..." Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, mam, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says she. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?" "Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"