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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1773)	10/15/1999 8:21:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

These made me laugh and laugh and laugh and... Hope you enjoy! ***************** What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities. *************** What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off of you when you die. *************** Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service. *************** What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? Not enough sand. *************** What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk. *************** What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman. *************** What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being. *************** Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. *************** Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. *************** What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick. *************** What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? Skeet. *************** If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him? It might be your bicycle. *************** It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ...... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. ***************** Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? He gets taller.