From the mouth of babes, An apropo post for a Sunday morning....
Kids Letters To God
> Dear Mr. God, > My daddy says all attorneys live at the bottom of the ocean. > But I saw one the other day and he didn't look wet at all. > Please explain how they do this? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Do You have a computer? > Do You use a Mac or not, because of all the > troubles You had with apples? Or do You use a PC? > Then You must be using windows. > I'll bet it's a HUGE window too, huh? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Do You walk on the stars? > I see them fall every once in a while. I don't > want You to get hurt, so I was wondering if You > would use Super Glue. Have You ever heard of it? > It works really good, believe me! > But, please, don't ask me to tell You why! > > > Dear Mr. God, > I get afraid of thunder storms, > so my dad told me it was You playing > bowling, but my mom says it's the Angels playing bowling. > I just wanted to know who's winning? > And did You know some of those "strikes" come > down here on Earth and start a fire. > And we're told kids shouldn't play with matches. > Just watchin Ya! > > > Dear Mr. God, > I really love Your rainbows. > I think of them as your smiles, but I wonder > why they are upside down? > Are You standing on Your head? > > > Dear Mr. God, > If this is truly the land of the free, > why does everything cost so much? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Why do some people treat their dogs > and cats better than their kids? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Time really bothers me. > Why does time go so fast when I'm playing > and so slow when I have homework > the time seems to last forever? > Is that Your time zone? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Is money is the root of all evil? > And I was just wondering where is the money tree? > We could sure use a little more money to > make daddy happier when he's paying the bills. > Can You send me the seed for the money tree? > I promise to take good care of it and share > it with everyone who needs help! > > > Dear Mr. God, > Please help me. > Which is the right church? > I want to get it right while > I'm still little. > Thank You! > > > Dear Mr. God, > Do you have a FAX machine or should > I keep sending up my helium balloons to You? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Why does love hurt? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Have You got surround sound up there > for watching movies? I'll bet it's > really loud and neat! My daddy says my > brother plays our music loud enough. > > > Dear Mr. God, > Do You have to eat yukie foods, > like liver and lima beans? > > > Dear Mr. God, > You must be a real good magician if we > can't see You, but You can see us. > I wish I knew how You do it. > I'd like to play a trick on Billy. > > > Dear Mr. God, > I'm just learning about money. > When you borrow money, you must pay it > back soon. We have a big problem. > Our government has two parties and they spend > WAY too much money. Daddy says they're going to take > our money to pay for their parties and > call it higher taxes. Does this seem fair to You? > Are death and taxes the only sure fire things > we can count on? Please reply before April, > that's when my daddy gets real upset. > Thank You. > > > Dear Mr. God, > If rain is really angels tears, > why doesn't the rain taste salty? > Where do you put ALL that salt? > It's confusing me. > > > Dear Mr. God, > I believe kids should grow up on Earth. > Teenagers should grow up on > Venus, because they always fall in love. > Adults always get married and divorced, > so I think Jupiter would be good for them, > because of all its rings. And old people should live on > Pluto, because it MUST be closer to Heaven, right? > P.S. > Mike is five and really bothers me. > Is there an extra planet for him? > Your friend, always. > > > Dear Mr. God, > I was wondering how old You were > when You got to cross the street? > And what color is Your house? > > > Dear Mr. God, > If the streets of Heaven are truly paved in gold > (and I believe You), I was > wondering if when the next time You tear up and fix > a street if I could have > the stuff You don't need anymore? > There's a lot of hungry kids down here > and it could sure help out. > Thank you very much, Sir. > > > Dear Mr. God, > Do You know about adoption? > Why can't kids pick out a good parent first? > Wouldn't that be nicer and cause less problems > for You to handle later on? > Just thinking. > Bye. > > > Dear Mr. God, > My daddy says life on Earth is really like Hell. > If that's true, where do the > bad people go when they die? > Just thought it would be a good idea to know > in advance. > P.S. > I'm a good kid! > > > Dear Mr. God, > Why can't adults live by the same rules as kids? > We're people too! > > > Dear Mr. God, > Do you have ice cream and popcorn in Heaven? > Also, you might add > chocolate, because adults really love it, too. > > > Dear Mr. God, > Why do vegetables taste so bad? > Why can't You make them taste like candy and > have them still be good for us kids. > And some of those vegetables look pretty weird, too. > P.S. > My father doesn't have to eat his vegetables and doesn't > get in trouble. Is this right? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Why can't people every day, > behave like they're in Disneyland? > That's a fun place for everyone. > Maybe we just need to make Disneyland > a LOT bigger, huh? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Killing is a sin, right? > My pet goldfish accidentally went down the drain > when I cleaned her bowl out. > How much trouble am I in and will it last forever? > > > Dear Mr. God, > do you have an e-mail address? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Wouldn't it be easier if every one spoke the > same language, so we could > talk to each other without fighting so much? > > > Dear Mr. God, > Could you give me a baby sister? > My best friend got stuck with a brother. > And could you put in a good word > for me to get a puppy? > > > Dear Mr. God, > My mommy says when I was born you didn't > give me enough patience. > Can You send me some, please? > Thank You! > > > Dear Mr. God, > I love to eat and chew ice. > My older brother say this means > "I'm sexually frustrated." > I'm five years old. Am I? > I think I'm happy, and glad I'm a girl > who still has teeth. > > > Dear Mr. God, > I want to grow up and be the first female President > of the United States. > We're not rich. > Why do you have to be rich to be the President? > This is not fair. > Please reply within about thirty years. > Thank you. > |