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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gauguin who wrote (40198)	10/21/1999 4:53:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

When I saw that- hopeless fritters- I thought you were talking about my cooking. Fritters are very bad for you anyway. All that grease. I never fry anything. My children think fried food is magical and poisonous all at the same time because I don't fry anything, but I do eat Grandy's Fried Chicken and make ooooo---ahhhhh sounds until I'm sated and realize what I've done and then I moan and talk about how I've clogged my arteries and challenged my gall bladder and can't eat again for three days. So they're pretty conflicted when confronted by anything that met its maker in a vat of fat. But I want to tell you about this article I read yesterday. I bought the magazine at the grocery store just because of this woman on the front. She looked so happy. And no wonder. The magazine said in big letters- SHE WENT FROM A SIZE 52 to a SIZE 10 IN 15 MONTHS!!!!!!!! TRY KELLY'S AMAZING PLAN!!!! I couldn't WAIT to try Kelly's plan! Well, think about it! If she dropped 42 sizes in 15 months, I figured I should be at least a Size 4 by the time I got home. Kelly was popular, though; she was a bridesmaid in seven weddings. There was a snapshot of her at 335 pounds; the whole picture is Kelly except for a tiny little head with a bridal veil trying to squeeze into a corner of the frame. She says in a somewhat impressive display of understatement, "I was the fat bridesmaid." Now 230 pounds later, Kelly is standing there in a slim black dress holding a pumpkin--- all sorts of symbolism, don't you think? Cinderella overtones, or maybe, I once was built like this pumpkin, look at me now! Then again, it is October. But I like to think that the editors thrilled to the subtleties of the symbolic squash. My heart beating faster with excitement, I put on my reading glasses (wt. 2 oz) and swiftly perused the article, looking for the magic success secrets so that I could immediately begin to shed these unwanted ten pounds and go shopping in 24 hours for size 2. And here are Kelly's secrets. Do NOT go into candy stores. (Well, Duuuuhhhhh) Don't grocery shop when you're hungry. (Excuse me, I'm dieting- I'm always hungry) When you're hungry, go for a walk instead. (ROFL, though unfortunately not LMAO) Write down a happy thought every day. (Hey- Kelly's 25 years old--- she can be forgiven this-- she has no husband, no kids, and I'll bet no portfolio) But I drank eight glasses of water and wrote down that when Myers knocked over my crystal lamp, it didn't break. Today I weighed two pounds more than yesterday.