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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (60145)	10/24/1999 11:58:00 PM
From: Neenny	Respond to of 108807

Rambi and Edwarda, I too can relate to watching a parent die of cancer at home. My father battled cancer for 14 years. It was such a blessing that we had him as long as we did. We experienced many hardships in those years. Although I would not wish the experience of watching a parent die of cancer on my worst enemy, as we did with my dad. As tough as that experience was, I am thankful for it, as I know those years shaped who I became. Neenny

To: Rambi who wrote (60145)	10/25/1999 12:04:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 108807

My life being the farce it so often is, the toilet would have stopped up and the evidence washed out onto the street or something. Moments of hysterical and helpless laughter, I can believe. Moments that are funny only in retrospect, I can believe. Farce, dear Penni, never. I am being "better behaved" so I shan't tell you except in PM how much a serious life can turn into something out of a French farce unless you ask. My mother also died of colon cancer. My father literally dropped dead--which is hell on the survivors but easier on the dying person. (I think? If your affairs are in order and you have peace of mind? I don't know.) My mother had had surgery and chemo two years before and had done all the following up. Her two oncologists, really reputable guys--I checked them out with a friend who is a cardiac surgeon specializing in neonates--who are top flight, thought she was doing fine. The cancer was sneaking along the walls of the colon, so it was not visible until too late and the blood tests went from good to "red alert" overnight. I was on a business trip. Mother had said, quite sensibly, you need to work, both to support yourself after I die; and I got the word from the surgeon, who knew that I am unusually conversant about medicine so he described to me what he found.... It was like a spider's web designed to defy detection! This was in 1995. She came home from the hospital Memorial Day weekend and died on June 6, much to the surprise of the oncologists, who thought she had several months ahead. Because my mother-in-law had suffered a very lingering death, I had learned how to give morphine injections. My own mother did not get anywhere near that far, although, as I posted, she did need morphine pills. It was not pain she suffered so much as weakness (and hallucinations from potassium deprivation until I could get her to take potassium supplements.) We had some wonderful moments during the days while she was dying, but we had already become close friends. In fact, when she died, I lost not only my mother but also my closest friend. Far worse, actually, was watching a friend my own age die of a brain tumor....