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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karin who wrote (2576)	10/25/1999 2:45:00 AM
From: EL KABONG!!!	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Karin, Your joke reminds me of a true story. I remember it well because it happened this weekend. My wife and I like to eat at a certain local restaurant here in town. Nothing fancy mind you. Something like a Denny's or a Cracker Barrel. We eat there maybe about once a month. There's a guy there that we've been friendly with because nine times out of ten he's been our waiter/bartender what-have-you and we tend to shoot the breeze while we're there. Topics like football games (or basketball) or brewed beers; general, non-controversial stuff like that. No religion or politics. Well we haven't been there in a couple of months now, so Saturday evening my wife and I went there for dinner. When Chuck (not his real name) came to our table to wait on us, there was a subtle difference in his appearance and manner. I couldn't quite determine exactly what was different, but maybe it was the fact that he wasn't shooting the breeze about football or whatever. Maybe it was the fact that he told us his name was no longer Chuck; that he now went by Charlene. Maybe it was the make-up and earrings. Maybe it was the dress. Maybe it was the fact that he now had what outwardly appeared to be breasts. Maybe it was the fact that he no longer spoke with a loud gregarious voice. Now he's soft-spoken. With long fingernails and feminine jewelry adorning his fingers, his wrists and his neck. I probably didn't handle it very well. For the first time ever in my life I was absolutely stunned speechless. Even my wife was silent; that awkward kind of silence. What do you say to someone you've known for years who suddenly has a sex change? While we weren't rude or obnoxious or anything like that, the situation was extremely awkward. I could barely get the words out to place my order. It probably didn't help that the first words I managed to utter were "So what's new?". (I was referring to the items on the menu.) I remember Dr. Renee Richards (sp?) and his/her story. But I only know of Richards through news accounts. I never really gave much thought to him/her. It was just a story. Not real. Something you see on television. This situation is real. I know Chuck. Or perhaps I should say I knew him. It's sort of like the guy you know has died and someone else has taken his place. It's just totally weird. Well, I feel better having written about this to someone, but I sure didn't sleep well last night thinking about it. Maybe with time I'll have a better understanding, but I don't think so. Maybe some things are better off not being understood. KJC

To: Karin who wrote (2576)	10/25/1999 11:52:00 AM
From: Ian@SI	Respond to of 2733

The Potato Story You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other, and they finally got married and had a little one a real Sweet Potato whom they named Yam.They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her all about the facts of life and encouraging her to live a moral, ethical life so that she would not end up with a bad reputation or a bad name like Hot Potato.She told her folks not to worry - the evils of the world would not make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would eat the right foods and get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny and weak like her Shoestring cousins. Mr. and Mrs. Potato told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and even the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the American Indians when going out west because she could get Scalloped. Yam's parents wanted the best education for their cute little Spud, so they sent her to Idaho P.U. - Potato University - where the Big Potatoes come from, and when she graduated, she would really be in the Chips. Above all, however, Mr. and Mrs. Potato wanted their daughter to marry well and raise a family of wonderful Tater Tots. But one day, she came home and said she was going to marry Walter Cronkite. Her parents were very upset and said she couldn't marry Cronkite because he's just a....... . . . . . . . . . COMMON TATER! (Ouch!)

To: Karin who wrote (2576)	10/25/1999 11:54:00 AM
From: Ian@SI	Respond to of 2733

OT to Karin, Thought you'd absolutely love this one. By the way, are you blonde? <vbg> Ian. +++++++++++++++++ Three blondes are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across. The first woman prays to God to make her smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns her into a brown-haired woman and she swims across. The second blonde prays to God to make her even smarter, so God turns her into a dark-haired woman and she builds a boat and rows across. Then the third blonde prays to God to make her the smartest of all, so God turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge.