To: Knighty Tin who wrote (69866 ) 11/1/1999 3:57:00 PM From: re3 Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 132070
newsflash <vbg> MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church > >By Hank Vorjes > >VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square >this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the >Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in >exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. >If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software >company has acquired a major world religion. > >With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior >vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software >Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and >Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said >MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates. > >"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to >ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the >Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for >a broader range of people." > >Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we >will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and >revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling >indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins, >receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without >leaving your home." > >A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro >language which you can program to download heavenly graces >automatically while you are away from your computer. > >An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's >Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in >character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was >broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide. > >Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello >chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats," >the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained. > >The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and >the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such >masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will >face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to >these key intellectual properties. > >"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," >said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of >the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came >on the scene." > >But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a >common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more >successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame >theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the >Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while >Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted >by Christianity, lags behind. > >Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, >leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and >entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms >whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not >they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several >denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used. >The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth," >echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every >home". > >Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable >religious architecture that will support all religions through >emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of >interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple >of different implementations," said Gates. > >The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, >according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist >Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in >the increasingly competitive religious market. > >