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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1925)	11/15/1999 1:16:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Subject: Stranded Island One day this guy, who has been stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. And as the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pocket of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man!" "Is that ever good!" She then asks him, "How long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" Trembling, he replies, "Ten Years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask, and gives it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig, and says, "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!" Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" The guy, with tears in his eyes, replies, "Oh sweet Lord God!" "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!"

To: Susie924 who wrote (1925)	11/15/1999 10:22:00 AM
From: Zbyte	Respond to of 2380

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it. ----------------------------------------------------------- Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. ---Alex Levine ------------------------------------------------------------ The Seven Ages of Man Are: spills drills thrills bills ills pills & wills. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Math of life: Smart man smart woman = romance Smart man dumb woman = pregnancy Dumb man smart woman = affair Dumb man dumb woman = marriage Smart boss smart employee = profit Smart boss dumb employee = production Dumb boss smart employee = promotion Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Married men live longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - First Quotation: Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed. -- Charles M. Schulz Second Quotation: Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. -- Pierre Pachet Third Quotation: A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: everyone you meet is your mirror. -- Ken Keyes, Jr. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . Top 10 Sayings You'll Never See On Office Inspiration Posters The firings will continue until morale improves. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the situation. Two days without a Human Rights Violation! This can't go on forever-Even the Third Reich only lasted 12 years. TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself. If you can read this, you're not working! When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. Pride, commitment, teamwork - words we use to get you to work for dirt. We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.