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Pastimes : Techride -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: sandintoes who wrote (6199)11/13/1999 11:41:00 PM
From: Sarkie  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 7442
 
I've been thinking..
I was thinking that women should put pictures of
missing husbands on beer cans.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it
is when you still have something on the ball but you
are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a movie for folks my age
and call it Pumping Rust.

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all
the wrinkles out of my face.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the
Bible a whole lot more as they get older - then it
dawned on me.....they were cramming for their finals.

You know when people see a cat's litter box,
they always say,Oh, have you got a cat? Just once I
wanted to say, - No, it's for company.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what
Chinese mothers use. Perhaps, toothpicks?

Employment application blanks always ask who is
to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you
should write . . . A Good Doctor.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the
Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to
these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on
the postage stamps so the mailmen could
look for them while they deliver the mail?

I thought about being rich and it don't mean so
much. Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions
and he never owned a Cadillac!

If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?

Wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a
nudist camp?

I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve, - Watch it,
there are plenty more ribs where you came from.

I have decided that Nostalgia is the VCR of our minds.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's
face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother.....she
started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.

I'm not into working out -
My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower
than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you
is a maniac?

The second day of a diet is always easier than
the first. By the second day you're off it.

The reason most people play golf is to wear
clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why
kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be
watching television by candlelight.

Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt.
Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean
it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back
for seventy-five cents.