Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1930)	11/17/1999 11:37:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

> >>>Introducing the new, Improved MIDLIFE BARBIE: > >>>Now, at long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide > >>>with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic... > >>> > >>>1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion > >>> frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain > >>> and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. > >>> > >>> 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her > >>> face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her > >>> forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues. > >>> > >>> 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her > >>> whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying > mirror. > >>> > >>> 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these > >>> new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too > >>> -muumuus with tummy-support panels are included. > >>> > >>> 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have > >>> definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. > >>> Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on > >>> soft terry mules. > >>> > >>> 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip > >>> lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's > >>> own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics. > >>> > >>> 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is > really > >>> paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to > >>> root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or > >>> white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch. > >>> > >>> 8. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, > >>> Ken's car, and Ken's boat. > >>> > >>> 9. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she > >>> sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is > >>> sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, > clicking > >>> through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus > this > >>> year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included. >

To: Susie924 who wrote (1930)	11/18/1999 10:20:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2380

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. <><> <><> <><> <><> <><> <><> Heard Around the Office. . . . A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. If at first you don't succeed, don't try again: quit. No use being a complete fool about it. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. It doesn't matter what you do; it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. <><> <><> <><> <><> <><> <><> <><> So, we have enough youth already; how about a fountain of Smart?