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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Ilaine who wrote (63748)11/20/1999 10:06:00 PM
From: epicure  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
I think the "mission statement" of feelies may attract a few people, but most people come here because of an interesting post, or topic. Feelies never (as far as I could see) was a place where you could be SURE you wouldn't get an argument about what you posted- although pure flaming and simple insults were never common. I know Christine saw it as a rather different place- I think she had some 60's commune in mind when she created it, but it has never been like that. And let's face it- we wouldn't be honest if we agreed with everything posted here because a lot of the stuff posted here is contradictory.

I think it is natural to gravitate to what you agree with. And pack instincts are strong in humans. We like to form bonds, and groups, and we also like to exclude people who don't "fit" in our group- that too is human nature. But just because it is natural doesn't mean it is particularly attractive. I'm not saying this is a "good" thing- I personally feel that the human proclivity to include and exclude is dangerous. That's why I don't like groups, and try to like individuals instead. And even when looking at individuals there are parts I like and parts I don't. I think what goes on here sometimes is that the urge to clump, to group, to gang, to WIN (win what? from who? always I have this question- because numbers, especially irrational numbers, NEVER say much for an intellectual argument) overwhelms everything else and very unlikely bedfellows find themselves snuggled up together. It is sometimes very funny to witness the morning after.

So I don't think it has anything to do with feelings, or men, or middle age. I've always though feelies was more about ideas, and the strange ways some people have of expressing and defending their ideas.



To: Ilaine who wrote (63748)11/21/1999 12:02:00 PM
From: jlallen  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 108807
 
So what I wonder is, do these guys come over here because they really long, in their heart of hearts, to talk about their feelings, only they don't know how? That might explain a lot, that what's going on here is that a lot of conflicted middle-American type males are secretly longing to get in touch with their feelings, but unable to do so. The only way they know how to express themselves emotionally is to agree with people they know are safe, and criticize all others.

Some pretty lame psychobabble here. Of course, the problem with this hypothesis is that ignorant types like me often criticize the people we agree with when we think they are off base too. JLA