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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Rambi who wrote (63814)11/21/1999 10:49:00 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
Your comments remind me of something I've never completely resolved in my own mind. As you know, last year I had a very difficult situation develop concerning my practice with another lawyer who was at the time my partner, and it's been very difficult for me to be objective about the situation at all. One thing that I thought was interesting at the time, but was unable to resolve, was a comment by the guy I rented office space from the time, a fellow about the age of my parents, roughly 65, a very attractive older man with a full head of grey hair. He was critical of my erstwhile partner for several reasons, the one I am discussing right now is the fact that he dyes his hair. My older friend pointed out that, in his own case, his grey hairs are "worth money," that people prefer to get advice from someone with grey hair, because they seem to be wiser.

My point being, do you think it is true, that at a certain age, grey hair adds gravitas, so that it's counterproductive to attempt to modify one's appearance to look younger than one really is? And if your answer is, yes, would it be the same for women? Speaking only for lawyers, and mindful of the fact that your own husband is a lawyer, and that you have associated with a number of lawyers over the years.

I do agree with you that maintaining one's appearance is essential in order to present the appearance of being able to perform, but my own perception is that what matters, at least for men, is being physically fit, e.g., having a slim waistline, being able to engage in physical activities, etc. What it takes to communicate the proper gestalt as an older woman, I have no idea, but look to Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsberg as examples. And if you're interested in my own capacity, I don't measure up.



To: Rambi who wrote (63814)11/21/1999 11:24:00 PM
From: greenspirit  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
Rambi, res- <<My point is that I hate to see you make fun of women on this issue when it's a malaise that affects both sexes. I have no urge to ridicule a man for using Rogaine or a toupée, for working out at the gym, for doing whatever he can to stay competitive. >>

I'm not exactly sure why you felt posting, what I thought was an interesting article, equates to making fun of women. So I am not sure where to go with this response.

You appear not to have liked the article. Ok, I thought it was a refreshingly different look at a complex issue. Does it give you all the pieces of complexity necessary for a full comprehension of the issue. No, I don't believe it does. But I do believe it brings forth some interesting ideas regarding the path the country has been on regarding womens roles in our society for the last 40 years or so.

I disagree that the pressure on men to be HOT HOT HOT is equal to the pressure on women today. Anorexia, Bolemia and a host of other eating disorders predominate in the female population. And I believe there is a reason for that. I also wonder whether women weren't better off in the years past when our culture didn't stick a half naked, nearly anorexic, female in our face at every flick of the television remote.

I thought the article highlighted that concern in a thought provoking way. And it was written by a women.

Michael



To: Rambi who wrote (63814)11/22/1999 9:51:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 108807
 
I had a different take from yours in Michael's sharing this article with us. It seemed to me that he was expressing regret and distaste that after all we've gone through, the trap is still there and so is the pressure to conform to certain limited notions of attractiveness--even as the burdens elsewhere in life have increased.