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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: epicure who wrote (42717)	11/25/1999 10:20:00 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (6) \| Respond to of 71178

I stood over the roadkill on the counter, smiling with pleasure at our Thanksgiving dinner. The animal smiled back at me with its one remaining eye, like it was winking at me. I wish Pa was here to see it, but he was spending a lot of time up on the mountain with his new still. Granma jp threw a chestnut at my head to get my attention. “What are you gonna do with that ugly critter?” I smiled at her, rubbin my head and admirin' her still excellent aim, and began to crack open the chestnut. Granma lunged out of her rocker and grabbed it back. “You ain't gettin' none a my chestnuts for no stuffin'. How long has that thing been dead? You and your infernal roadkill cooking's probly what done granpa in.” “Maaa,” CobyBlueJean ran in, her little cheeks red with excitement. “Pa's comin' home ceptin' he keeps fallin' down.” I smiled at her scabby little face and ran to the window to look out. “His last batch o' shine must have turned out good! He'll be in such a happy mood!” Pa was weaving by the house and heading down the road. “I hope he don't run into the e-lectric fence again.” BillBob was sittin' in a corner playing with his toes. He had peed on that fence one too many times. I patted him on his fuzzy head, and he purred. “Ish,Ish,” he said. which was all he could say now. Melliebaby started to cry in her cradle by the fire. “Granma, could you tend to Melliebaby? I need to go show Pa where the house is.” “Tend to yer own damn brats.” I could hear the rocker creaking as she sat back down, kicking the cradle as she went by. Melliebaby began to coo as the cradle rocked. “You are such a sweetie, Granma! Thank you!” I grabbed my sweater offen the couch and headed out to the porch. “Maaa! PaulBoy and FreddyBob were drivin' up. and they hit Pa! ANd now Pa is goin to kill them!” LexaGirl was bubblin over with excitement. “Kin I have PaulBoy's room when he's gone?” “Now you hesh, LexaGirl. You know CRBoy has always wanted that room.” I smiled at her. LexaGirl's little face fell in disappointment. “Bitch.” she said and ran back to where Pa was now handin a gallon jug to FreddyBob, his good humor restored after he discovered none of the jugs was broke. I ran up and hugged him, taking a deep whiff of his beloved smell, moonshine and BO. “I'm so glad you came home for Thanksgivin' I knew you would!” I smiled joyfully. “And PaulBoy done found us a nicesize roadkill. This will be such a special day!” “I found it by the road to Ol' Man JLA's. He warn't goin' to let me take it, and went to get his gun, but I run real fast!” PaulBoy looked proudly up at his father, who handed him the jug. “Providin for your family. You're a real man, now, Boy.” They stood in the road for while, passin' the jug, while I shivered and smiled at them affectionately. “None for your Ma, she's got to cook.” I laughed and pushed his arm, “Oh ThomasPa. You are such a kidder.” He punched me back hard. “Go cook, Woman. And carry those jugs up to the house.” “Ow.” I smiled, and picked up three gallon jugs. “Not much of a woman, your Ma. Make sure you git you a stronger one.” The boys laughed and I smiled at the happy sound of their voices as I trudged back to the house. In the warm kitchen, Melliebaby was contentedly sucking on a chestnut. BillBob was sittin on the floor with the roadkill on his lap, pettin' it. He screamed in protest as I took it and threw it into a pot. “You're gonna kill us all,” Granma growled, trying to kick me with her steeltipped boot as I went by. “No, I'm not." I said merrily. "We're having a special treat today. I'm gonna marninate it in moonshine, that'll kill just about anything that's not suppose to be there. Saw it on that Food Channel.” I took a chug and passed the jug to Granma. “This is gonna be the best Thanksgiving ever.” I fought for a minute or two to get the jug back, while she kicked at me, and poured the rest of the moonshine over the critter, who floated up and smiled at me. The white stripe on his back looked purty in the rich broth. I smiled as Pa and the boys staggered into the kitchen. “All together again! What a perfect Thanksgiving!” I started to open another jug of shine. “Jeez woman. You're bad enough without gettin drunk on top o' that Oldtimer's Disease." I smiled at him affectionately and turned back to the stove. “I sure do love them all!” I said to the critter. In the pot, the critter nodded back at me companionably. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF MY FAMILY ON DAR"S MOUNTAIN-- I LOVE YOU ALL!