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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1972)	12/1/1999 9:23:00 PM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

DOG DAY AFTERNOON Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker. To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square" do your stuff!" T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a square, circle and triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But, the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 oz. without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive. The three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?" The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, took a crap on the paper, had sex with the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker's compensation and then went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. They ALL agreed, that dog was bloody brilliant!!!

To: Barney who wrote (1972)	12/1/1999 9:26:00 PM
From: Susie924	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2380

Notice to Employees (Includes Part Time Workers) SICKNESS We will no longer accept your doctors statements as proof. We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having operations will be FIRED immediately. PREGNANCY In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINTUES apart. IF it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay. DEATH This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job. From, THE MANAGEMENT