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To: ChrisJP who wrote (1241)	12/5/1999 10:36:00 PM
From: david m. uhler	Respond to of 1568

I can't bear it........ Hi Chris Becky was on her deathbed Her husband, Jake was maintaining a vigil by her side. He held her fragile hand, tears ran down his face. His praying roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Jake," she whispered. "Hush, my love," he said. "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk." She was insistent. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. " " I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Jake. Everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Jake. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "I know", answered Jake, "that's why I poisoned you" Cpt Dave

To: ChrisJP who wrote (1241)	12/5/1999 10:44:00 PM
From: david m. uhler	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1568

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a Craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and bets twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I am much luckier when I'm bottomless!" With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!" As the dice settle, she begins jumping up and down and yelling as she hugs each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!" She picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!" Lesson learned? Cpt Dave