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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Susie924 who wrote (1992)12/7/1999 10:09:00 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 2380
 
Subject: Ponderables

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost
and blamed it on the cost of living.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be
the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak



To: Susie924 who wrote (1992)12/7/1999 10:11:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2380
 
Knowing the Future...

Benny: "Now you take my granpa, he knew the exact day of the
year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not
only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and
he was right about that too."

Louie: "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"

Benny: "A judge told him."



To: Susie924 who wrote (1992)12/7/1999 10:14:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2380
 
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

-=*=- -=+=- -=*=- -=+=-

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

-=*=- -=+=- -=*=- -=+=-

Why don't you let blondes take coffee breaks?
Because it takes too long to retrain them.