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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Kid Rock who wrote (43298)	12/9/1999 2:16:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

They said - not everybody is like you Dad!. That was a Coke spew. We have never been able to control CW on the computer, but his interests were more in the take it apart, why does this do this sphere. He was always wiping out our hard drives. We made the decision to let him go-- not try to control him becuase he had such an obvious drive and aptitude. He would start his own chat rooms, becuase he wanted to CONTROL everything, he didn't want to talk -- he wanted to be the one who could throw people off, who could block people, who could design the programs. And I would say we gave up most control (or the pretense thereof)about 7th grade--- so maybe 12 or 13? Ammo has little interest in computers and he doesn't like to get online BECAUSE of the buddy list thing. He is antisocial. People bug him. He designed a shark page and got about 250 e-mails about it, and has never answered any, to my knowledge. He just wanted a shark page. He doesn't really care if people look at it. My opinion--- is that if the boys have active, healthy outside lives-- sports, friends, school activities, they won't have much time to get into trouble online. We did limit time spent when CW was younger or that's ALL he would have done. Also- I don't think my kids ever were somewhere I dind't know about- I picked them up from school and transported them to all activities and stayed and watched. Plus they got the same talk you gave your boys and I think they would have told us if someone wanted to "meet" them. A psychologist friend of mine told me that she was working with a little girl who spent a lot of time on line with older men (I think she was about 12) and the reason was these men told her how much they loved her. It was really sad and frightening-- to her it was love- which she wasn't getting at home. So I know that all those awful things are out there. But we felt fairly comfortable about the boys. I'm not sure how much freedom 10s should have,though--- so much of this has happened so fast. We didn't even know about being online until CW was 12. Coby's boys are closer to yours in age. She might have some ideas. Oh- also the boys are not allowed to have SECRETS on line. No passwords etc. We wanted access to everything, and Dan knows enough about computers that he could at least give the appearance of knowing what he was doing.

To: Kid Rock who wrote (43298)	12/9/1999 2:30:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Respond to of 71178

When my kids were the age of your kids, they could only post via AOL, and I set up their accounts as children, so they couldn't access mature sites. And they have been lectured regularly about not posting personal information, which I think they comply with. Ben is now 14, and Nick is almost 12 ~ I let them access the net through my account, without filters, but I trust them not to get into trouble, just as I no longer have locks on the cabinet with the cleaning solutions, and no longer have the knives stored where they can't get at them. My rule is "no porno, and no weapons of mass destruction", and I think they go along with that. They don't play with electricity, or gasoline, either. As for sex, I don't think Nick is at all interested, and Ben probably reads about it in the science fiction books he reads, but I really don't know, or care. He's mature enough to handle that, at least.