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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (43566)12/16/1999 6:38:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 71178
 
Helenator tale. We went to the mall on Sunday (Daddy car, "yeehaa!" quoth the Sprout upon cornering) and headed pretty much straight for the food court. Spouse is in an advanced stage of gravidity, and I was carrying Helen in my arms, where she fits remarkably well for thirty pounds of live weight.
The Indian food place was handing out free samples of some bright red chicken. Tandoori, I think. I was about to smile&decline, but then I noticed a little arm crossing eye level. So I leaned Helen over, and she neatly plucked the bit of food from the proffered toothpick.
She gives me a serious little look, "I'm gonna do you a good turn, Daddy", and feeds me the bit of chicken. I bite down and encounter a fairly tough nugget.
This is tougher than I thought; sure hope the flavor is OK.
Helen is giving me this real serious wide-eyed look. I'm steadily increasing the pressure, wondering why nothing is happening. Chicken should sort of shear apart into strands, and this piece isn't doing it. Tab of gristle?
And then Visual Processing catches up with an overloaded Central Command and draws attention to the bit of bright red chicken that fell down the front of my shirt to where the Helenator is saddled up.
Uhm. That means that I'm biting on...
Oh no. Ohnosecond: that fleeting moment between doing something really dumb anbd realizing it.
I let go at once, but Helen proclaims "Owieee!!!" and removes her pinky from my mouth. I didn't break the skin, quite, but I left a nice red dent in her flesh.
That's GOTTA hurt.
She's crying like she hardly ever does. She gives me this really surprised look and leans over to Momma for comfort.
My heart is coming apart in layers, like an overcooked onion.

I felt really bad for an hour. Just a wee bit more bite and I would have broken a bone, I'm sure. But Helen sobered up across the next ten minutes, and she went to both me and momma for comforting while sucking her pinky. I carried her around after our nutritious, exotic banquet of lukewarm mall pizza and Diet Something. She pointed to the shoe stores and declared her wonderment at seeing two favorite things in one place - "shoes" and "Santa", whom he recognizes.