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Gold/Mining/Energy : Gold Price Monitor -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Alan Whirlwind who wrote (46262)	12/24/1999 10:54:00 AM
From: TD	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 116979

To All, Christmas Cheer..ROTFLMAO Village Idiot (12/23/99; 14:19:10MDT - Msg ID:21569) Invisible Hand has the right idea!! *MY TOP FIVE EVENTS for GOLD MARKET 1999* OIL FOR GOLD!!! Yesterday December 31 only one oil frigate from the Middle East was able to make it to America. Its non-compliant navigational system crashed it upon the beaches of Eastern Florida. Oil trucks are backed up for miles trying to off load the oil but the Captain is demanding an ounce of gold per barrel. Truck drivers are diving into the sea hoping to find the rest of the 1715 Fleet so they can pay for the oil. TERRORISTS ATTACKT FORT KNOX!! A Middle Eastern Terrorist group decided to take advantage of the millenium rollover last night and take over Fort Knox. They have come up empty handed. The leader of the Terrorist group Mohammad abdul Rashid was quoted as saying roughly translated " Where is all of your Friggin gold?". LBMA IS NOT COMPLIANT. Last night all computers for the London Bullion Market crashed. The head of the LBMA is quoted as saying "No problem everything here is on paper. When asked since their security system is down will their gold be safe? The head of the LBMA said " I already told you, it is all paper!!" FEDERAL RESERVE BACKS POKEMAN! All of the Federal Reserve printing presses had stopped functioning due to the fact that they have embedded systems that were not y2k compliant. Alan Greenspan says not to panic we are issuing Pokeman cards to solve the problem. When asked if using Gold and Silver coins would be better. Mr. Greenspan said that they were heavy and bulky relic metals and that Pokeman cards were lite and cute. Mr. Greenspans favorite character is Pekachu and so he is worth $100. PRESIDENT CLINTON TO SELL IMF GOLD!! With the price of Gold skyrocketing due to world problems and the discovery of no gold in Fort Knox and the paper trail at LBMA, President Clinton has announced that he thinks it is a good idea to sell all of the IMF gold. 5 minutes after announcing this the price of gold went up another 2000 dollars due to it being 2000 times over sold. President Clinton has stated that he never said that he wanted to sell all the IMF gold, but now thinks it would be a good time to revalue the IMF gold and pay off the worlds debt!