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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (2079)	12/31/1999 2:04:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

But I Didn't Do It! One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school the teacher punished me for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this right away! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?" "My homework," she replied...

To: Susie924 who wrote (2079)	12/31/1999 2:06:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons. -=- -=- -=- -=- -=- -=- -=- -=- -=- -=- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.

To: Susie924 who wrote (2079)	12/31/1999 9:52:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Get Up and Go To School! Early one morning, a loving mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, dear. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

To: Susie924 who wrote (2079)	1/5/2000 10:17:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Getting Things Straight Two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing an old leather jacket that didn't have any buttons or a zipper. Finally he pulled over and told his buddy, "I can't ride anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a second, his bud suggested, "Yo, it's like this... Put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting you straight on." So they were driving down the road and they came whipping around a curb and spun out on an oil slick. The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The duty officer asked him, "Are either of them showing any life signs?" The farmer then said, "Well, that first one was 'til I turned his ole head around the right way . . ." <>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>%<>% I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

To: Susie924 who wrote (2079)	1/5/2000 10:19:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> During a recent vacation in Atlantic City, a couple went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a woman from the back of the theater yelled out, "Hey, how'd you do that?" "I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, " But then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause, she yelled back, "Ok, then. Just tell my husband!" <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> <>~~<> Give blood... Play hockey.