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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Solon who wrote (8106)	1/3/2000 2:02:00 AM
From: Druss	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12754

SI Midnight News Local arrested for affair with a mop. Police today reported they had arrested a prominent local stock trader on charges of lewd and lascivious conduct with a mop. Reportedly he was seen rolling around on the grass late at night with the mop saying "My Cheri, My Cheri". One of the arresting officers indicated he didn't think "What he was doing could be done with a common household cleaning utensil." When officers approached he assaulted them with the mop shouting "Get them darling!" After he was subdued, officers indicated tests showed he had a blood/alcohol level approaching that of a bottle of rubbing alcohol. One officer said "I don't think we actually found any blood in the sample. Only thing that kept it from being pure was the assorted street drugs he had taken." The identity of the suspect is being with held to determine whether or not the check he wrote to bribe the police to protect his identity will clear.