Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/7/2000 11:25:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. ---------------------------------- FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG ------------------------------ FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG ------------------------------ GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. ------------------------------------- FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. ----------------------------------- 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer ---------------------------- AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. ------------------------------ SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. ------------------------------- 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 ------------------------------ TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 ------------------------------ COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. -------------------------------- 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000 --------------------------------- STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15 ----------------------------------- FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. ----------------------------------- FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME. ---------------------------------- FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50 ----------------------------------- NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBIE ------------------------------------- BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" -------------------------------------- SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS -------------------------------------- HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" ---------------------------------------- GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER. ------------------------------------------- HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB ----------------------------------------- GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. ------------------------------------------ NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED ------------------------------------------ FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. ------------------------------------------ AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100 ------------------------------------------- TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. --------------------------------------------- EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175. --------------------------------------------- OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. ----------------------------------------------- JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300. --------------------------------------------- ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER -------------------------------------------- GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL. ---------------------------------- OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS -------------------------------------- KELLOGG'S POT FARTS - $1.99 box ----------------------------------------------- FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb. --------------------------------------- FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. ----------------------------- GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/7/2000 11:27:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. -==- -==- -==- -==- -==- -==- -=*=- "I've finally found a way to get money out of my husband," a woman told her friend with a wink. "We were arguing last night, and I told him I was going home to Mother. He gave me the fare."

To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/10/2000 10:24:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Signs of the Times: On a ski lift: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted." -==- -==- -==- Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened. -==- -==- -==- Advertising a corporate wide skiing race: Let's see who can go downhill the fastest! -==- -==- -==- Seen in King's Canyon in California: 'Slow Parking Ahead' -==- -==- -==- Two signs found on top of one another in a little country kitchen: Restrooms <----- Please wait for hostess to seat you. -==- -==- -==- Seen in a health food store: "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head Repeatedly with an organic carrot" -==- -==- -==- "Children left unattended Will be towed at parents expense"

To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/12/2000 10:19:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

You Know You're Having A Bad Day When.... Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you know it looks awful. Nothing you own is actually paid for. The birdie singing outside your window is a vulture. You have to borrow from your Discover to pay your VISA. You put both contacts into the same eye. You wake up and your braces are stuck together. Your blind date turns out to be your ex . . . . Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to food. ** Your mother actually approves of the person you're dating. -=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=--=#=- BTW, Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?

To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/12/2000 12:19:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: Poor Cohen The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper."How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked a woman. "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes ma'am." "Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum." "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. "Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil - copy this down." "Here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"

To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/13/2000 2:21:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: FW: Friendship "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." - Charles Caleb Colton "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus. "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." "Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life." "Friendship is one mind in two bodies." - Mencius "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." "I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." - Dave Matthews Band "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them" "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere" - Tim McGraw "My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." -Lee Iacocca "Hold a true friend with both your hands." -Nigerian Proverb "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -unknown "You should never put the name of a friend in a heart. You should put it in a circle because hearts can be broken and a circle just keeps going on and on" ~mandi~