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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (8125)	1/10/2000 1:02:00 AM
From: Druss	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12754

The Reverend D. Jones most recent sermon: Good Morning Brothers and Sisters. Before I begin to speak, I would like to introduce the newest member of our congregation, Sherry Foxx. I met Sister Sherry just two weeks ago. As you can see she is a most gracious and charming lady. But after I had spoken with her for a while, my heart fairly pounded in my chest, my pulse raced, and I swear I broke out in a sweat. I realized this woman knows the market. And I thought God you have not only blessed this woman by showing her to our church, you have blessed us with yet more market savvy. Praise God. I will speak more of Sister Sherry later but first there are some things that must be brought in the open. I spoke last week about the coveting of thy neighbors wives and husbands, it is rampant in our church, rampant! I swear before God that there is far too much of people getting to know one another. Some members spend all of their time knowing one another. If they spent as much time working on knowledge of the market as they do on knowing, they could buy GE for pocket change. All of this has come to a head my Brethren, with Sister Barbara who has been sharing my house running off with Brother James. It seems they have been entertaining each other for some two months now. I appear to be the only one ignorant of this. The way tongues wag around her I would have thought at least one could have wagged this information to me, but no, the one time we could use a bit of gossip around here... But that is not important now. The important thing is that contrary to rumors Brother James did not get away with any funds in the Churchs Investment Club Fund. Thank you Jesus! The safe guards of needing the signatures of the Church Elders has preserved the Lords bounty for us. AMEN Unfortunately Brothers and Sisters, Brother James was managing our Investment Fund and doing a poor job of it the last two months too. When I heard Brother James had left I despaired Brothers and Sisters, I despaired. Brother James had been the best stock picker we had. But I didn't lose faith, no, I had faith. Faith that in our hour of need God would not turn his back on us. I fell to my knees and prayed, prayed with all my soul that God would show me the way through this wilderness. And my Brethren, the next day I spoke with Sister Sherry for the first time, and in our conversation she told me of two stocks she thought were going to run. So I put some of the Investment Club funds into them. And Praise God in all his glory, we got 50% on them! And further Sister Sherry has agreed to run our investment club for us. Thank you Jesus. Yes, Thank you Lord, Sister Sherry is a God fearing market sharp lady, we thank you for sending her to us in our hour of need. I think Sister Sherry is going to be a great asset to our humble church. If I may say so myself, I have a lot of plans for Sister Sherry. I have a question someone sent me before we begin our final prayer of the day. Someone asked me to address whether or not it is better to use a market order or limit order. Now my friends, I don't speak of such things up here. We do have classes on Sunday mornings on the market and on Wednesday nights at 6:00 on the market and those questions can be answered there. No my Brethren, I don't speak of the ins and out of the market here. I speak of things you can't see, things you can't hear, and things you can feel but you can't touch. I speak of the power of the Lord. AMEN Now let us bow our heads, before I begin though I would like to say that you should never write a blank check for those devils spawn MM's to ream you with by using a market order, always use a limit order. Dear Lord, Thank you for your blessings, thank you for sending Sister Sherry to us in your wisdom. Thank you for casting blindness on Sister Barbara so she ran off with my Zircon cuff links instead of the diamond ones. Amen