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Pastimes : Ya'll have a GooGoo Cluster & take a load off -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: CWolf who wrote (2536)	1/10/2000 5:00:00 PM
From: Texan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 26417

{{{{{Chuck}}}}} A Texas Happy Birthday Grandpa.... (belated) Sounds like you had a great day. Glad you had the opportunity to {{{hug a youngun }}} on your special day. Sonya

To: CWolf who wrote (2536)	1/10/2000 7:18:00 PM
From: Fuzzy	Respond to of 26417

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Grandpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope your day is going well. Fuzzy

To: CWolf who wrote (2536)	1/11/2000 12:35:00 AM
From: E'Lane	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 26417

Most diets fail because we think and eat like people. For those of us who have never had any success dieting, there is the new MIRACLE CAT DIET Excluding those who eat like people (lots of table scraps), most cats are long and lean. The Miracle Cat Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that, not only will you look and feel better,you'll form a whole new concept of what actually constitutes food. DAY ONE Breakfast: Open a can of expensive gourmet cat food -- any flavor as long as it costs more than .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall awhile before stalking off into the other room. Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up, and this is very important, on the cleanest carpet in your house. Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat a wing. Leave the rest to die. Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of greasy chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning. DAY TWO Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Then chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it. Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought for your dinner party on Saturday. Lick the crust all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf. Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed. Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from the kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room. DAY THREE Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find. Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with it on top of your down-filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with. Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor. FINAL DAY Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a large collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow. Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon. Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard. How could you possibly fail to slim down on such a diet!?