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Pastimes : Ya'll have a GooGoo Cluster & take a load off -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Moosie who wrote (2543)	1/11/2000 2:49:00 PM
From: E'Lane	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 26417

THINGS OVERHEARD WHILE ON THE BEAT "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take you hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" (That is the average speed of a 9mm projectile [slug]) "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop." "Listen with your ears, not with your mouth." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them." "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid." "Bullet-proof vests aren't." "In God we trust, all others we run NCIC." "Just how big were those two beers?" "Uh...Yes Chief, it only appeared as if I wasn't paying attention to your speech. Actually, you inspired me to meditate on the mission statement and envision a new paradigm." "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "Law enforcement is not a spectator sport." "I'm glad to hear the Chief Of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." "I don't believe they should use the electric chair, they need to use electric bleachers."