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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (2137)	1/22/2000 11:32:00 AM
From: Susie924	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Barney, I printed out the questions at work yesterday but never had a chance to take the test until this morning. I swear I didn't look at any of the answers that were posted or that you just posted I got 17 out of 20.....so I guess I am above normal! The 3 that I got wrong were: #10---- I thought the opposite....DUH! #11---- I knew my answer was too easy! #12---- I probably have heard that one a thousand times and I still always get it wrong!

To: Barney who wrote (2137)	1/22/2000 11:45:00 AM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

THE POINTS SYSTEM ----------------- For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is! In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy! Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted, You don't get any points for doing something she expects.... Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system. Sample Duties You make the bed....+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-1 You throw the bedspread over the rumpled sheets....-1 You leave the toilet seat up ....-5 You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty....0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex....-1 You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings....+5 But return with beer....-5 You check out a suspicious noise at night....0 You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's nothing....0 You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's something....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10 It's her father....-10 Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy....-2 Named Tiffany...-4 Tiffany is a dancer....-6 Tiffany has implants....-8 A Night Out You take her to a movie....+2 You take her to a movie she likes....+4 You take her to a movie you hate....+6 You take her to a movie you like....-2 It's called Death Cop 3....-3 Which features cyborgs having sex....-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15 Your Physique You develop a noticeable potbelly....-15 You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it...+10 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts....-30 You say "I don't care because you have one too"....-800 Driving You lost the directions on a trip....-4 You lost the directions and end up getting lost....-10 You end up getting lost in the bad part of town....-15 You end up getting lost in the bad part of town and met the locals up close and personal....-25 You know them....-60 The Big Question She asks, " Do I look fat?"....-5 (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit) You hesitate in responding....-10 You reply, "Where?"....-35 Communication When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression....0 When she wants to talk, you listen for over 30 minutes....+5 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+15

To: Barney who wrote (2137)	1/22/2000 12:01:00 PM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people get stranded: * two Italian men and one Italian woman * two French men and one French woman * two German men and one German woman * two Greek men and one Greek woman * two English men and one English woman * two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman * two Japanese men and one Japanese woman * two Chinese men and one Chinese woman * two American men and one American woman * two Irish men and one Irish woman One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred: One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman. The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming. The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions. The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/ liquor store/restaurant/ laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store. The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining. The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.