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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (2185)	1/31/2000 1:07:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows: Basic Cow $499.95 Shipping and handling 35.75 Extra stomach 79.25 Two tone exterior 42.10 Produce storage compartment 126.50 Heavy duty straw chopper 189.60 Four spigot/high output drain system 149.20 Automatic fly swatter 88.50 Genuine cowhide upholstery 179.90 Deluxe dual horns 59.25 Automatic fertilizer attachment 339.40 4 X 4 traction drive assembly 884.16 Pre-delivery wash and comb 69.80 FARMERS SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: $2,843.36 Additional dealer adjustment 300.00 TOTAL LIST PRICE (including options) $3,143.36

To: Susie924 who wrote (2185)	2/10/2000 10:28:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A local fisherman ran up. The man gasped, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dived into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, buddy, where's my hundred?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. So tell me, what do I owe you?"

To: Susie924 who wrote (2185)	2/10/2000 10:38:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: Fw: Powerful story One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Damn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of his class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach ... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

To: Susie924 who wrote (2185)	2/10/2000 10:46:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Okay, first get a piece of paper and label it from 1-10 Now remember you need to take serious thought into these questions. 1. What is your favorite out of these three? a. cat b. bird c. dog 2. What is your favorite color? a. pink b. white c. black 3. Name a person of the same sex. 4. Name a person of the opposite sex. 5. Do you like the mountains or beach better? 6. Do you like to watch the sun rise or the sun set? 7. What is your favorite number from 1-10. 8. What is your favorite plant? a. red rose b. fern c. a dead one 9. What is your favorite season? a. Spring b. Winter c. Summer Okay, now for the results........................... 1. a) cat: you love yourself the most b) bird: you like hearing yourself talk c) dog: you put others before yourself 2. a) pink: you are outgoing b) white: you are classical c) black: you are living on the edge 3. They are your lucky star. 4. You will become very, very close friends with them. 5. a) mountains: fast paced wedding b) beach: slow paced wedding 6. a) sunrise: you are a morning person and you get more done b) sunset: you are romantic and you fall in and out of crushes slowly 7. The number you picked is how many times it will take before you find your true love. 8. a) red rose: your life will be beautiful, but sometimes thorny b) fern: your life will be predictable and safe c) a dead one: your one sick person 9. a) spring: you are hopelessly romantic b) winter: you are a hugging kind of person c) summer: you are a bare all kind of person