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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gauguin who wrote (46292)	2/1/2000 6:15:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

KAthy Ireland can't act. I know, I know, she doesn't need to, but I am a purist and believe that if you are going to be the star of a movie, you need to be able to act just a teensy weensy little bit. However-- I have something else to tell you about. Valentine's Day is coming! ANd I am making a box to send to CW, and today I bought this gorilla in a little jacket with hearts on it. WHen you hold his hand he sings Amore just like Dean Martin. He rocks back and forth and his mouth opens and closes and he waves a hand. I played it for Myers and he got all fluffy and hissed at him. It should be a great hit in the dorm. Mothers can do this kind of stupid stuff. I bought it at WalMart though. I'm really sorry.

To: Gauguin who wrote (46292)	2/1/2000 6:18:00 PM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (5) \| Respond to of 71178

...Just arrived home... About 60+ posts on DAR since I left this a.m.... What the heck is going on here? Is this a run for a prize grub or something...? And what's all this about Martha Stewart and KMART? YOu know, I had a pretty weird dream about Martha last night... I was in a big store... hey! maybe it was KMART?!! Anyhow, I was looking for a corkscrew or some such thing, or maybe it was a cheese grater. Anyhow, I'm just minding my own business, looking at corkscrews, and all of a sudden this woman starts messing around with all of the little gadgets in the bins in front of me... In fact, she sort of pushed me out of the way... I ignored her at first and stepped to one side, but then she moved over and started doing it again, and I thought... DANG!! She's really starting to annoy me!!! Then all at once I took a really good look at the woman and realized that it was Martha Stewart... and the reason she was messing around with all of the utensils was that she was checking their little cardboard nametags to see if they had her name on all of them..... Well, right about then, I decided to just mosey on somewhere else in the store, but just as I did, she said... really loud so that everyone looked at me... "Hey! Do you own any of my cookbooks!!!!" (not said like a question, but more like giving me heck...). I replied, "Are you talking to me?.." and did that thing where you look around behind you as if it must be a mistake that someone is talking to you. She said, "Yes, YOU!!! Which ones do you own?" Well, I was a bit stupefied by this and the only really quick excuse that I could come up with was to say... "Ah... nope... I don't have any at all... but then I don't own any cookbooks because my kitchen isn't too big.... and besides, I get my recipes off of the SOAR recipe database on the internet...cause I'm just that kind of person...." Well, people were staring at me... shocked... and Martha Stewart gave me this really cross look and waved her hand to shoo me away... kind of disgusted like... And I just took my generic-named corkscrew without the Martha Stewart sticker and kind of dissolved into the end of the dream.... But that wasn't really QUITE the end because then I found myself in a hotel room. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door and I opened it, only to have this fire chief with a walkie-talkie push past me into the room... I said, "Hey? What's going on here?" At first, he just ignored me, but then he said, "Haven't you looked outside?!!!" And I said, "Why? What's out there? And he said, "There's a big fire burning up all of the fields and buildings and it's coming right this way! We're going to have to use your hotel room as a command center!!". I replied, "Well, what am I supposed to do?"... He just gave me this crabby look and turned to an assistant fireman who had just walked in with a shovel. He grabbed it from him and shoved it at me while saying, "Here you... you get out there and take this shovel and help put dirt on the fire to put it out!!!". So...gee...that's exactly what I did... It was hot, and smoky and horrible, but I did as I was told... and then the hotel went on fire... and that was the end of the dream... hee heee... but listen, Gaugie... If you own stock in KMART... well... like I think you should definitely have a talk with Martha Stewart... Tell her that it's really not too good to put a lot of sales pressure on customers... It really puts people like me off... You do that, y'hear! Croc

To: Gauguin who wrote (46292)	2/1/2000 6:22:00 PM
From: Constant Reader	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

Not to change the subject, but... (always a sure indication that the speaker or writer intends to do exactly that), I wonder if you also noticed that 32 of the 88 people killed in that air crash yesterday were family and friends flying free. Quite a large number, I thought. BWDIK? I heard that a couple of them were going to Eugene. At least 4 were from my area. I have heard a completely tasteless pun but, in view of the sensitive nature of this thread, I will defer publishing it until a lighter moment.