To: BGR who wrote (84447 ) 2/11/2000 8:17:00 AM From: re3 Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 86076
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a >McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........and they hired >him because he was so honest and funny! > > > NAME: Greg Bulmash > SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. >DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, >whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be > applying here in the first place. > DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael > Ovitzstyle severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer > and we can haggle. > EDUCATION: Yes. > LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. > SALARY: Less than I'm worth. > MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and > post-it notes. > REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. > HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. > PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. > DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a > more intimate environment. > MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I > be here? > DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT > YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? > DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would > be "Do you have a car that runs?" > HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I > may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. > DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. > WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in > the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model > who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd > like to be doing that now. > DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO > THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. > SIGN HERE: Aries >>