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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (2220)	2/12/2000 1:40:00 PM
From: The Rabbit	Respond to of 2380

How should I know? I'm only 35! But it sure is like pea soup in here...

To: Barney who wrote (2220)	2/12/2000 11:47:00 PM
From: faqsnlojiks	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

grub them dueces. :*) -Joe

To: Barney who wrote (2220)	2/13/2000 10:28:00 AM
From: Susie924	Respond to of 2380

Dividing the Pecans > > On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree > by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a > bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, > and began dividing the nuts. > > "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. > Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence > > Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. > As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the > cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, > "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." > He just knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "it's > Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery. > > He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the > bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along > "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard. > Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls." > > The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." > When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. > Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. > One for you, one for me." > > The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. > Let's see if we can see the devil himself." > Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, > yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy > gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter > as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. > > At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. > > That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done." > > They say the old guy made it back to town 5 minutes before the boy. >>

To: Barney who wrote (2220)	2/13/2000 10:33:00 AM
From: Susie924	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2380

> Subject: the duck > > > A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have > lemons?" the bartender says, "No, we don't have lemons!" > Disappointed the duck leaves. > > Ten minutes later he comes back and asks the bartender, "Do > you have lemons?" Slightly annoyed, the bartender says, > "For the second time, no we don't have lemons!" > > The duck turns around and leaves, only to return ten minutes > later and once again asks the bar keep, "Do you have lemons?" > > The bartender is pissed, " If you come in here one more time > and ask if I have lemons, I will get my hammer and nail your > little webbed feet to the damn floor!" The duck flies out > of the bar quacking in fear. > > Ten minutes later, the duck walks in, the bartender in > astonishment listens as the duck asks, "Do you have nails?" > > Confused, the bartender says, "No." > > ... The duck replies, "Good, do you have lemons?" > ______________________________________________________