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Pastimes : Stock Time Travelers -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carolyn who wrote (263)	2/13/2000 11:01:00 AM
From: sandintoes	Respond to of 753

LOL Are we scheduling a stock trading class in Hawaii? Here's a funny one for all of the guys...... If Men Ran The World... Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. [Won't help you this year, though.] On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle." Instead of "beer belly" you'd get "beer biceps." Tanks would be far easier to rent. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off." People would never talk about how fresh they felt. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!" When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you." The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.