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To: Robert Rose who wrote (93459)	2/13/2000 6:41:00 PM
From: Libbyt	Respond to of 164684

PASS THE ROLAIDS The following is from the Bull Market report...Just FYI. Libbyt By Michael Makowsky Contributing Editor The Bull Market Report "The market, it is just so, so volatile these days." Volatile? The market is volatile? No, I am sorry, but when you are trying to describe the way the market is behaving these days, "volatile" just does not cut it anymore. We passed volatile a while ago, somewhere around the point when the Nasdaq started taking 200 point intraday swings when Greenspan changes ties. No, the markets are no longer just volatile. They are downright melodramatic. Exactly when did investors stop watching CNBC and start watching "Party of Five"? Are investors putting in sell orders every time Charlie (or every other character on that show) starts talking about their lost parents? Are we getting dips during investor crying sessions? Are we having run-ups during group hugs? Should I be buying stock in Kleenex? When did the markets become so "sensitive?" I remember back in the good old days, when investors were big guys and gals with short hair, stone faces, and strong shoulders. They had ice water pumping through their veins. Now they more resemble the skinny guy at my local coffee shop, who wears black turtlenecks, sports a pony tail, reads poetry, and talks about his "feelings." Every single little event, speculation, rumor, or weather report affects the markets in profound ways. The markets used to shrug off world conflicts like so much dandruff. Grenada? Ha! Come back when you have a real war! Nowadays we have a major "correction" due to a cold front coming in from the Northeast off the Atlantic. (Uh-oh, its partly-cloudy! Sell! Sell!). Mention Alan Greenspan around investors and they go into a tizzy faster than if you mention Leonardo di Caprio to a group of 13-year old girls. Heck, at least the girls know what they like. Investors can't seem to make up their minds how they feel about Greenspan. I have written extensively about all of the sound, reasonable explanations for the new era of market volatility. Well, forget "reasonable". I am sick of "reasonable." I want this to slow down just a bit. I want everyone to calm down. Relax. Take a deep breath. Get a grip. Think happy thoughts. And hang onto a stock for longer that 5 minutes, Okay?!!! This is all I ask for. It's not a lot, is it? Now excuse me, I just realized how I am going to make millions. I am investing every penny I have in Rolaids. Maybe I am a genius after all. [Note: Do not invest your every penny in anything, let alone something Mike recommends. Rolaids isn't even a stock. Mike is not a genius. He is clearly insane. Should you feel the need to council him, as always you can write to him at mike@bull-market.com]