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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Crocodile who wrote (47121)	2/20/2000 9:26:00 PM
From: Gauguin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

Yah, that doesn't look good at all. Been there too. It's even worse now. It all adds up to hurry up and die. Ya might as well. Been to LA recently? Mother of god, don't go. Dash and MJ and I were literally horrified. Silenced and scared. We can't figure out what holds it together. That's the amazing thing, the invisible thing, is what is holding it together? Mysterious, man. Very mysterious.

To: Crocodile who wrote (47121)	2/20/2000 9:39:00 PM
From: nihil	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

Depression I worry a lot about depression. In fact, I get depressed about it. Life seems so meaningless. I don't seem to be getting anywhere. People don't seem to understand what I am up to. Sometimes I just lie in bed for hours. The dogs come lie with me in bed. After an hour or so they get so depressed that they have to go somewhere and bark, or bite somebody. No one really seems to love me. I can't get any real work done. I've got three unfinished books to write. Thank god I don't take advances, then I would have to finish them. The market is such a pain. It goes up and I always sell before or after the top. It goes down and I always miss the bottom by 2 or 3%. I can't take profits out because I would have to pay taxes on the short-term capital gains. The countess complains that we are sinking more and more money in the accounts but we have almost no cash. Management seems to be stealing money from stock-holders and giving it to themselves. Depressing. Food doesn't even taste good. I'm losing way to much weight. I can't force myself to drink the glass of wine a day my physician prescribed. Chateau Latour '61 (6 cases of half-bottles picked up at a hotel cellar bankruptcy sales for $12 a case; a little soft, tasting of the oak). With only one glass I have to throw out more than half, although recently, I've been fermenting an occasional quarter bottle into red wine vinegar. There's a depressing thought. Eating those damned vegetables without butter, and just a touch of walnut oil and vinegar. I don't know where everything is heading. Our politicians appear to be uniformly corrupt. The Surpreme Court is full of murderers of children. Everywhere around is death, and the only solution seems to be to go armed so as to shoot your way out. Even the crooks are wearing armor so you have to use teflon coated wadcutters in your .44 magnum. The really depressing thing is that the mentally ill are not allowed to carry guns. Since when the second Amendment exclude disabled people. Some one ought to sue. I think I'll take a nap. I'll get to my work done tomorrow. What the hell, it doesn't really matter. Night all.