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Pastimes : Another Good Reason Not To Be Married -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Shoot1st who wrote (5980)	2/21/2000 7:50:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 6545

shootie, you have said a great deal that makes sense and you know it! (Nasty? Moi? Maybe with Len sometimes, but he knows we have a bedrock of friendship. After all, he continues to express disbelief on this thread in the existence of my lover and has even suggested that he is on a par with the imaginary friends of childhood. It's a game we play, know our personal rules, and enjoy enormously. If I am being nasty with anyone else, do let me know. Or are you referring to my postings on other threads?) What I was trying to say is that most women IMO underestimate how much they are also "babes" in addition to everything else that they are, that being a "babe" can be a good thing if one also has intelligence and other attractive attributes that are clearly recognized. My lover has known me professionally for about two decades; our relationship is based on intellectual respect and friendship. When he is here just for the evening and has to go home, we spend as much or more time talking as we do in the sack. But, hot damn, in the sack I'm a "babe" and the fantasy lover. I think that one of the problems with "feminists" like C. MacKinnon (sp? I don't want to run off and check) is that in their zeal to ensure respect for women's minds, they deny women's sexuality inadvertently. They deny that people are like prisms, with so many different sides that reflect and glitter, a few at a time. They also deny that a person is so like an onion--as is reality--layer after layer to try to discover its core and each layer has meaning of its own. Sexuality is very important to an overall sense of self esteem and it has many moods and takes many forms. A woman who has to be very aggressive and even dominating at times professionally may find balance in being the "subbie" in sex and in fantasy at times; so may a man. To deny these changing moods is to deny our very persons. Sad to think we meet so many in our lives, change so few for the better and then sit in wonderment as to how the rest get along....... Ah, but even on SI we touch and help change for the better at times. I know of a couple of people whose postings over time have shown very positive change; they thought about the responses they received to their postings and clearly grew as people. And deep friendships form that surely change lives, friendships that would not be possible without the Internet and then SI as a forum. How can we know if we change lives for the better? A thank you note? I try to let my family and friends know when their insights have helped me get to a clarity, but sometimes the effect is so subtle that even I am not aware of it. you are the pinkie of my right hand...... shootie, quite the dearest expression of friendship I have heard in a long time. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Edwardawithanacuteattackofthesniffs