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Pastimes : ASK Vendit Off Topic Questions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vendit™ who wrote (8457)	2/24/2000 8:59:00 AM
From: DOUG H	Respond to of 19374

Got this from WS. JDSU @ $246 in premarket. > >>This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of > >>in a long time. I think this guy should have been > >>promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the > >>Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a > >>recording monitoring the customer care department. > >>Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; > >>however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect > >>organization for "Termination without Cause." > >>Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer > >>Support employee (now I know why they record these > >>conversations!) > >> > >> "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" > >> > >> "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." > >> > >> "What sort of trouble?" > >> > >> "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden > >> the words went away." > >> > >> "Went away?" > >> > >> "They disappeared." > >> > >> "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" > >> > >> "Nothing." > >> > >> "Nothing?" > >> > >> "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." > >> > >> "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" > >> > >> "How do I tell?" > >> > >> "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" > >> > >> "What's a sea-prompt?" > >> > >> "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the > >> screen?" > >> > >> "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept > >> anything I type." > >> > >> "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" > >> > >> "What's a monitor? > >> > >> "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks > >> like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells > >>you when it's on?" > >> > >> "I don't know." > >> > >> "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find > >> where the power cord goes into it. Can you see > >>that?" > >> > >> "Yes, I think so." > >> > >> "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if > >> it's plugged into the wall." > >> > >> "Yes, it is." > >> > >> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice > >> that there were two cables plugged into the back of > >> it, not just one?" > >> > >> "No." > >> > >> "Well, there are. I need you to look back there > >> again and find the other cable." > >> > >> "Okay, here it is." > >> > >> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged > >> securely into the back of your computer." > >> > >> "I can't reach." > >> > >> "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" > >> > >> "No." > >> > >> "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and > >> lean way over?" > >> > >> "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - > >> it's because it's dark." > >> > >> "Dark?" > >> > >> "Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I > >> have is coming in from the window." > >> > >> "Well, turn on the office light then." > >> > >> "I can't." > >> > >> "No? Why not?" > >> > >> "Because there's a power failure." > >> > >> "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it > >> licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals > >>and packing stuff your computer came in?" > >> > >> "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." > >> > >> "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack > >> it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it > >> back to the store you bought it from." > >> > >> "Really? Is it that bad?" > >> > >> "Yes, I'm afraid it is." > >> > >> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell > >> them?" > >> > >> "Tell them you're too (&#&^@) stupid to own a > >> computer. ============================================