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Technology Stocks : TheStreet.com, Inc. (TSCM) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: KevRupert who wrote (648)	3/22/2000 7:03:00 PM
From: ThomasJeferson	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1822

This is the story of poor orphan Rexon, who was wandering in the woods with a share price of only 4 or 5 cookies per share. Little Jimmy Cramer saw poor orphan Rexon, and decided to help poor orphan Rexon get its share price up to more cookies per share. Little Jimmy Cramer put about 3,000,000 cookies in poor orphan Rexon's basket, and got his readers to put in about another 6,000,000 cookies into poor orphan Rexon's basket. Little Jimmy Cramer did not bother to tell his readers that he had put his own cookies in poor orphan Rexon's basket. When the reader's put their cookies into the basket, that made the price of poor orphan Rexon's shares go up to almost 7 cookies per share. Poor orphan Rexon was trying to get to Grandma's house, because grandma had called and said that she had a secret recipe for multiplying cookies. Unfortunately, a very big bear (3M Company) came along and ate poor orphan Rexon. The bear stepped on poor orphan Rexon's basket, and smashed all the cookies and they all disappeared. Little Jimmy Cramer was able to salvage the crumbs, which he sold for about .03 cookies per share, according to his 13D's. Even before the 3M bear had eaten poor orphan Rexon, a very wise man named Kurtz had told the Washington Post that he had seen little Jimmy Cramer tampering with poor orphan Rexon's basket. The Washington Post had called Cop Levitt, who also lived in Washington DC. Cop Levitt had gone to look at the basket, to see if little Jimmy Cramer's fingerprints were on it. Cop Levitt could see that although little Jimmy Cramer was small, he had a big pile of cookies that he could use to hire lawyers. Also, little Jimmy Cramer had two extremely powerful relatives, Uncle Hearst and Uncle Dow Jones. Cop Levitt decided not to tell anyone if he had found little Jimmy Cramer's fingerprints on the basket. Cop Levitt went off and captured 44 dwarfs, who were abusing the internet. The dwarfs were not powerful at all, and they didn't have any uncles. However, this story is not about Cop Levitt and the dwarfs. Little Jimmy Cramer told his readers that as long as he wasn't taking his cookies out of the basket at the same time that readers were putting their cookies in, he hadn't done anything wrong. When little Jimmy Cramer had recommended to his readers to put their cookies into poor orphan Rexon?s basket, the reason he gave was that orphan's big brothers Gene and Ruel had also put their very own cookies in the basket. Brothers Gene and Ruel knew many things about little orphan Rexon other people didn't know, and they must have known that she could run faster that any bear in the woods. Little Jimmy Cramer had told the readers that brothers Gene and Ruel had put many many cookies in the basket. However, in reality, they had only put in a few cookies, according to their form 4's. The problem was that the way that little Jimmy Cramer had learned that the brothers intended to put their very own cookies in the basket. He had been told by a bird. It was not thehappybird, because it was adifferentbird. Little Jimmy Cramer had given adifferentbird some surplus cookies. The problem was that adifferentbird had not actually seen the brothers put their cookies in poor orphan Rexon's basket. Adifferentbird had only heard them talking about what they might do in the future. When little Jimmy Cramer gave his messages to the carrier pigeons to take to the readers, the brothers still had not put their cookies into the basket. The carrier pigeons were provided by Uncle Dow Jones and Uncle Hearst, and they told the readers that they were the most trusted carrier pigepons in the land. So that's how little Jimmy Cramer got mixed up about how many cookies the brothers had put into thebasket, how the readers believed it, and how they put 6,000,000 of their own cookies into the basket, and how they all disappeared when the 3M bear ate little orphan Rexon and smashed the basket. Little Jimmy Cramer had been sleeping with The Trading Goddess, but she became furious with him when the 3M bear ate poor orphan Rexon. The reason was that she had co-signed little Jimmy Cramer's 13D's for poor orphan Rexon, and she felt that it reflected badly on her. She banished little Jimmy Cramer to the couch. Little Jimmy Cramer thought of a new way to get a really big pile to cookies, so that he could buy gifts for The Trading Goddess and get back to her bed. He decided to call this venture TheScamDotCom. I am going to defer the story of TheScamDotCom until a later time, probably after the next earnings report.