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Non-Tech : Procter & Gamble (PG) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Bud G who wrote (108)	3/9/2000 1:21:00 AM
From: Bud G	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 196

Found this on the P&G website Is number two preventing you from being number one? In today's volatile markets the Day Trader cannot afford even a second away from the screen. Time spent in the toilet literally means flushing away trading profits. Even that extra wipe could cause a financial wipe-out. At Procter and Gamble we have the solution for your unscheduled purges - Simply strap on a pair of our Daytrader Deepends prior to the opening bell. Our no fuss, no mess adult undergarments have been specifically designed with you the Day Trader in mind. The patented hold-all core in each pair of Deepends absorbs up to two quarts of bodily waste and neutralizes all embarrassing odors for up to eight hours.* Even during excessive effluence, Deepends are the answer. They are easy to use and designed to be swiftly removed and attached using only one hand. Instead of suddenly coming up short, you can now go long without a care in the world. Here are some testimonials from our satisfied customers: "I love day trading but my irritable bowel syndrome meant I was rushing to the toilet upwards of five times a day during hectic trading sessions. Thanks to Deepends I can trade all day without leaving my computer. Ever since using Deepends my irritable bowel syndrome has eased significantly, and my R.O.I. has increased 15%." Lotta Ploptz, Parumph, Nevada "A few months ago nature called and when I returned ten minutes later I had to buy back my naked Amazon calls 20 points higher. Now that I use Deepends I don't have to worry about short squeezes anymore." Seymour Putz, Los Angeles California. "My desk traders are the best money can buy, but they are human too. One day the firm lost $10 million when our derivatives trader suffered a particularly nasty bout of diarrhoea. Luckily, the next day I heard about Deepends and ordered a years supply - Now my people just grin and bear it." Woody B. Levitt, Head Trader, MegaWorld Capital L.L.P. "I had to sell one of my Kidneys on E-Bay to prevent personal financial collapse. As a result I now suffer from chronic incontinence. I not only wear my Deepends during market hours I wear them to the Theatre and even at the Opera. Life is good again thanks to Deepends." - I.P. Quick, Flushing, New York. *Deepends are equipped with full fitting absorbent perfumed mat with complete coverage, and extra ultra-absorbent hold-all core for maximum incontinence management and skin care. Additional leakage control guards gently hug the inside of the wearer's leg to form an additional leakage barrier. Wear under loose fitting clothing. If a really ugly rash develops around your groin discontinue use immediately.