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Pastimes : The New Qualcomm - write what you like thread. -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: A.J. Mullen who wrote (1531)	3/9/2000 10:37:00 PM
From: Maurice Winn	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12231

*Graviton Spin Reversal* Good point AJ, but I didn't actually lose a Qualcomm ball. I knew precisely where they were; the problem was more in their guidance systems and trajectory [reminiscent of the Zenit launch]. Meanwhile, I have some competition for my prototype Graviton Spin Reversal System [TM]. Damn! See the last proposal. -------------------------------------------------------- <A contest was held in New Zealand for people to submit their theories on ANY subject since the America's Cup victory showed amazing technical prowess. Here are the winners: 4th RUNNER-UP (Subject: Probability Theory) If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille. 3rd RUNNER-UP (Subject: Bio-Mechanics) Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out. 2nd RUNNER-UP (Subject: Symbolic Logic) Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate. 1st RUNNER-UP (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics) The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast. HONORABLE MENTION (Subject: Linguistics) The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells. GRAND PRIZE WINNER (Subject: Perpetual Motion) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. It was proposed to strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast to the back of a hundred tethered cats;the two opposing forces will cause the cats to hover, spinning inches above the ground. Using the giant buttered toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.> Mqurice PS: Attentive readers will remember the prior art discovered by your humble servant [that's me] on vowels migrating from Wales to Finland with those Celts or whatever they were moved out a millenium or two ago. Ergo I'm going to sue for that prize. My Graviton Spin Reversal System, GSRS [TM] for rapid propagation of the idea, is far more sophisticated than cats and toast. Maybe the Mexicans were practising and fed the remains to Ying Yang and Cooters?