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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (13821)	3/17/2000 9:59:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62551

OXYMORON - From Merriam-Webster Main Entry: oxúyúmoúron Pronunciation: "„k-si-'mOr-"„n, -'mor- Function: noun a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (as in 'cruel kindness') Some favorites.... Act naturally Advanced BASIC Airline Food Almost exactly Alone together British fashion Business ethics Butt Head Childproof Christian Scientists Clearly misunderstood Computer jock Computer security Definite maybe Diet ice cream Exact estimate Extinct life Found missing Genuine imitation Good grief Government organization Legally drunk Living dead Microsoft Works Military Intelligence New classic New York culture Passive aggression Peace force Plastic glasses Political science Pretty ugly Rap music Religious tolerance Resident alien Same difference Sanitary landfill Silent scream Small crowd Soft rock Software documentation Sweet sorrow Synthetic natural gas Taped live Temporary tax increase Terribly pleased Tight slacks Twelve-ounce pound cake Working vacation

To: John Carragher who wrote (13821)	3/17/2000 10:08:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62551

Subject: Great Ideas? Let's see, I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school, the Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said, OK. Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so we won't spank them anymore. Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued. And we accepted their reasoning. Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, that's a grand idea.. Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, that's another great idea. Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn't matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good.. And then someone said let's print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said we have no problem with that.. And someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and then stepped further still by making them available on the Internet. And we said they're entitled to their free speech. And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.. Therefore, now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with... "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Pass it on if you think it has merit! If not then just discard it..... But if you discard this thought process, then don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in........