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To: Capt who wrote (13581)	3/31/2000 5:45:00 AM
From: GROUND ZERO™	Respond to of 30928

Rome (CNN) - There are reports that the Pope has just recently completed a visit to Israel and the middle east, but the Vatican insists that the Pope has never left the Vatican. The Pope was, in fact, scheduled for a trip to the middle east, but something he ate gave him gas and a bad case of the runs, and the trip was cancelled. The real Pope has been in seclusion due to his immediate gastronomic condition and really can't get too far from a toilet. In fact, the Pope has had to change his robe several times as a result. It has been learned that an impostor has been running around the globe pretending to be the Pope. Many who are close to the impostor report that the make belief Pope's real name is Capt. Nutcase, who escaped from the Funny Farm Mental Facilities. It was reported that Capt. Nutcase is known to run around in a white bathrobe and beanie, waving his hands, and muttering unintelligible obscenities to himself. More news on this as reports come in to this newsroom. GZ