Dear G and all: OK, you ASKED FOR IT, here is ACTUAL real advice that was published for the Ladies. JDN
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Instruction and Advice For the Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of
the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the
Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
By Ruth Smythers
beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers, Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year of our Lord 1894,
Spiritual Guidance Press, New York City
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper
upbringing,the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and the most
terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding
itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and
inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide
for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is
the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak,
by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young
women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and
pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily
take advantage of such a bride.
One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE
SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a
proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at
best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has
been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the
monogamous home and by the children produced through it. It is useless, in
most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual
initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his
bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring,
such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride
will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the
first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to
reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among
the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and
bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an
hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction. Clever wives
are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging
the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have
reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of
marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage. By
their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child
bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual
contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the
children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home.
Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as
possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and
degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if
given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting
practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in
abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile
bodies to be mouthed in turn.
Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs
and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are other obnoxious habits the male
is likely to acquire if permitted.
A wise bride will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her
unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.
Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total
darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns
for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in
separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum
of flesh is exposed.
Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she
shouldlie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping
into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest
he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the
dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight
injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.
When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion
on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic
husband.
If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so
that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss
her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss
her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring
from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will
generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory. If the
husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will
suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he
answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it
may seem at the time.
Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual
contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife
will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only
permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She
will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he is huffing
and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under
any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as
the husband has completed the act the wise wife will start nagging him about
various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain
a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion
immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is
no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged
to soon try for more.
One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that
the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working
together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in
regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch
apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The
wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first
to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual
expression.
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