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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mr.Manners who wrote (8540)	5/8/2000 4:07:00 PM
From: Solon	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12754

A 35 year old man is being detained by police after turning himself into precinct #7 at about 0400 hrs this morning. On duty desk sergeant, Sherry Chillinsfondov, was eating a jellied donut this morning, when the unkempt man staggered past the video cameras and up to the police counter. "Book me for suspicion". Insisted the emaciated man as he wiped white foam from around his lips. "I'm the guiltiest man alive. I know it; I just know it". After a lengthy and difficult interview it was determined that the man (identified only as Buckey) had awakened in the middle of the night to find money scattered throughout his tiny triangular apartment. "It was more money that I had never seen", stated Buckey as he sobbed to the bored Sherry, while she typed with one hand. "There must of bin 20 or 30 dollars scattered around. The whole damn place was full of money. It was inveterate--I mean ubiquitous", stammered the distressed Buckey, thereby exposing an educational background that was buried within years of drunken survival on the edge of sanity. "I'm suspicious of robbery", gasped Buckey, as he scratched himself incessantly with long nails, till the blood flowed freely across the backs of his hands. "Somebody call police on me; I'm getting away!" As Buckey raced across the precinct floor he was tackled by two huge officers just coming off duty from vice and prostitution. When availing himself of a phone call, Buckey dialled the number of Solon of Athens...a prominent businessman and eligible bachelor in the community. There was no answer.