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Pastimes : Where the GIT's are going -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sarkie who wrote (3629)	5/8/2000 12:46:00 PM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 225578

Now that Levy has kicked us out of the Pub, K won't be there with her pop-corn, and they'll get sick of stinky old cigars, and come begging us for food...they will have to read and sign the following rules for men! Showing they understand them completely! Women Points In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: Simple Duties: You make the bed......................+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...........-1 You leave the toilet seat up...........-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..- 5 You check out a suspicious noise at night...........0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 You pummel it with a six iron..........................+10 It's her pet..........................................-10 Social Engagements: Party: You stay by her side the entire party...................0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy...-2 Named Tiffany.......-4 Tiffany is a dancer....-6 Tiffany has implants...-80 Her Birthday: You take her out to dinner..............0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar......+1 Okay, it is a sports bar.......................-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night........-3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.......-10 A Night Out With the Boys: Go with a pal.........................-5 The pal is happily married..........-4 Or frighteningly single............-7 And he drives a Mustang.......-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)......-15 A Night Out: You take her to a movie.............+2 You take her to a movie she likes...+4 You take her to a movie you hate.....+6 You take her to a movie you like....-2 It's called DeathCop 3..........-3 Which features cyborgs that eat humans.........-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...-15 Your Physique: You develop a noticeable potbelly................-15 You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans And baggy Hawaiian shirts............................-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one, too.".....-8000 The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?".....-1 (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You hesitate in responding....-10 You reply, "Where?"............-35 Any other response.............-20 Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression......0 You listen, for over 30 minutes.....................+50 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+1000 She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep..-2000