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Pastimes : Humor in Physics -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Cisco who wrote (18)	5/14/2000 1:32:00 PM
From: Vendit™	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 117

Did you say "time"? New 'Time' To Keep Everything From Happening At Once CAMBRIDGE, MA--On what is now known as "Monday," a team of MIT scientists unveiled "time," a revolutionary new event-sequencing protocol which organizes phenomena along a four-dimensional axis, preventing everything from taking place at once. "No longer will the extinction of the dinosaurs, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, and the Earth-Xabraxiq Pod Wars all collapse into a single point," theoretical physicist Dr. Lawrence Chang said. "With time, we can now contextualize each of the universe's infinite number of occurrences in its own spatial-temporal plane, creating order where there once was chaos." Added Dr. Erno Toffel: "Using time, one event can be positioned chronologically so as to be the cause of another. For example, a man's death may result in a gun being fired at him. Or the other way around. We're still working out some of the kinks." Ps: Don't show this to Carolyn>> graphics.theonion.com