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Politics : About that Cuban boy, Elian -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jon Tara who wrote (5294)	5/14/2000 3:37:00 PM
From: marcos	Respond to of 9127

Well Jon, she is going on the details of the story you have provided - Message 13708924 Your mother handed you the decision. Not the state. It was her right, not theirs. Kids generally just don't want to move ... thinking here of a couple i know who has lived alternate years [more or less] in Canada and M‚xico, well into the school years of their first two kids ... Japan Air Lines just loved these people, as they got to fly the kids and their friends back and forth a lot ... the oldest boy is now sixteen or so, and is clearly going to be an open-minded travelling sort, at ease in a wide variety of situations ... i doubt very much that he resents now the periodic change of home environment, as he has learned a wider meaning of 'home', and has more eclectic friends than he otherwise would have. Of course much of how a human being turns out is up to that individual. Nature and Nurture only take us so far. After that it is up to me and thee, compa¤ero.

To: Jon Tara who wrote (5294)	5/14/2000 3:37:00 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 9127

>Did I know all this when I was 7? I'm sure I didn't. But I'm sure that I knew that I could thrive in the environment I was in. I liked where I was, and I liked the possibilities and opportunities.< Everything else you said was meaningless. I understand your emotional commitment to the decision your mother gave you- but you did NOT understand your environment. I made some guesses about what you could have been- you can't imagine your life turning out better than it did? And of course it could have turned out worse. I am sure you didn't know about ANY of the equipment and other advantages you lucked into, and how could you be SURE you would thrive? You probably chose the known over the unknown as most children would. I am happy you lucked into benefits- just because a situation turns out WELL, does not necessarily justify the means by which that outcome occurred. Unless you think the ends always justifies the means. I don't operate on that principle. I did not say anything for SURE- I merely made suggestions. Your level of emotionality about this is understandable. I had an abusive parent and an alcoholic parent. I was in five foster homes. Even with all that "experience" at the age of 7 (though I was very bright) I do not believe I could have made an informed decision. And I do not believe any child could. My parents- damaged individuals though they were- made decisions for me- and some of those decision were WRONG- and they had every right to be wrong. But I also do not believe that giving children decisions beyond their competency- is per se ground to terminate parental rights. So although I think your mother's decision to let you decide was wrong I feel she had every right to do that. I think Juan should have the same rights as your mother- to choose which decisions to delegate.