Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Politics : About that Cuban boy, Elian -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lane3 who wrote (5945)	5/22/2000 9:02:00 AM
From: epicure	Respond to of 9127

Oooh- I am honored to have been clipped and saved. Gee that sounds like a religious experience.

To: Lane3 who wrote (5945)	5/22/2000 9:53:00 AM
From: Lane3	Respond to of 9127

Thought for the Day--not entirely OT: In little ways, we manage to put up with people we don't like By Diane White The Boston Globe Most of us are compelled, daily or at least occasionally, to be in the company of people we dislike, even hate. Relatives. Co-workers. Roommates. Friends of friends. Assorted others. Jon Hess is the first person to make a study of how we manage to do it. "I thought it was amazing that no one has studied this before," Hess said from his office at the University of Missouri-Columbia, where he is an assistant professor of communication. "I searched the entire literature of relational maintenance, and I couldn't find anything on the subject." Relational maintenance. It's Hess' area of expertise. Most of the research in the field, he said, has been on intimacy and friendship and maintaining good relationships. "But what about people we don't like?" he said. "There are a certain number of relationships that we have to maintain whether we like it or not. Getting along with people you like is easy. Getting along with people you don't like is more difficult. I was surprised by the amount of stress people said they feel in these relationships." "Distancing behaviors" Hess surveyed 185 students, ranging in age from 17 to 50, only one of whom claimed she couldn't think of anybody in her life she didn't like. He compiled more than 30 "distancing behaviors," which his subjects said they practice to maintain relationships with people they dislike. He calls them "distancing behaviors" rather than "techniques" or "tricks" because he didn't want to address the question of whether the behaviors were intentional or instinctual. He may pursue that subject in the future. Looking at some of Hess' results, it occurred to me that he could have reached many of the same conclusions by watching Regis and Kathie Lee for a week or two. But I suppose that wouldn't have passed academic muster at the journal Human Communication Research, in which his paper, "Nonvoluntary Relationships With Disliked Partners," will be published this summer. Ways of avoiding interaction The following are some of the most frequently mentioned ways his subjects avoid interacting with those they don't like: ? Engaging in an activity while with the disliked person. ? Interacting with the person only in a group. ? Lying about personal matters to avoid intimacy. ? Avoiding asking or answering personal questions. ? Humoring or tolerating the person. ? Speeding up interactions. ? Ignoring the person. ? Avoiding joking and light conversation. ? "Zoning out," i.e., not paying attention to the person. Hess denied that his interest in this subject has anything to do with his own relationships. Hess said there are many reasons people might distance themselves that don't indicate they dislike you. They could be tired or not feeling well. They could be shy or preoccupied. Or they might be maintaining a professional distance. "If somebody's being distant, you can't be sure they don't like you," Hess said. "But it could well be a clue," Hess pointed out.