I feel like KLP, I was wandering around metacrawler, and found this! I always loved Gulliver's Travels when I was little...I thought it was funny...after reading some of his posts, I guess I wasn't suppose to think it was funny! What did I know, I was a child, trying to get the egg to stay up on the small side!
jaffebros.com
Quotations: From The Travels
Other Swift Quotes || Quotes About Swift
I am adding items to this collection as I edit and annotate the text. The notation in brackets following each item represents the source of the quote, in the form part: chapter; paragraph. (e.g. I:5;5 equals Part I, chapter V, 5th paragraph ). Letter and Publisher denote the introductory "A Letter from Capt. Gulliver, to his Cousin Sympson" and "The Publisher to the Reader," respectively.
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Behold, after above six Months Warning, I cannot learn that my Book hath produced one single Effect according to mine Intentions: ... And, it must be owned that seven Months were a sufficient Time to correct every Vice and Folly to which Yahoos are subject, if their Natures had been capable of the least Disposition to Virtue or Wisdom: (Letter;3)
I wrote for their Amendment, and not their Approbation. (Letter;7)
Of so little weight are the greatest Services to Princes, when put into the Ballance with a refusal to gratify their Passions. (I:5;5)
although I had done a very eminent piece of Service, yet I could not tell how his Majesty might resent the manner by which I had performed it: (I:5;9)
Care and Vigilance, with a very common Understanding, may preserve a Man's Goods from Thieves, but Honesty has no fence against superior Cunning; (I:6;5)
... Providence never intended to make the Management of publick Affairs a Mystery, to be comprehended only by a few Persons of sublime Genius, of which there seldom are three born in an Age: (I:6;7)
they suppose Truth, Justice, Temperance, and the like, to be in every Man's power; (I:6;7)
Mistakes committed by Ignorance in a virtuous Disposition, would never be of such fatal Consequence to the Publick Weal, as the Practices of a Man whose Inclinations led him to be corrupt, and had great Abilities to manage, and multiply, and defend his Corruptions. (I:6;7)
Ingratitude...whoever makes ill Returns to his Benefactor, must needs be a common Enemy to the rest of Mankind (I:6;10)
... they will never allow, that a Child is under any Obligation to his Father for begetting him, or his Mother for bringing him into the World; which, considering the Miseries of human Life, was neither a Benefit in it self, or intended so by his Parents, whose Thoughts in their Love-Encounters were otherwise employ'd. (I:6;11)
And if it be found that these Nurses ever presume to entertain the Girls with frightful or foolish Stories, or the common Follies practiced by Chamber-Maids among us, they are publickly whipped thrice about the City, imprisoned for a Year and banished for Life to the most desolate part of the Country. Thus the young Ladies there are as much ashamed of being Cowards and Fools as the Men, and despise all personal Ornaments beyond Decency and Cleanliness: (I:6;15)
...their maxim is, that among People of Quality a Wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable Companion, because she cannot always be young. (I:6;15)
That he had good Reasons to think you were a Big-Endian in your heart; and as Treason begins in the Heart, before it appears in Overt-Acts, so he accused you as a Traytor on that Account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death. (I:7;22)
having never been designed for a Courtier either by my Birth or Education, I was so ill a Judge of Things, that I could not discover the Lenity and Favour of this Sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. (I:7;22)
...in their own Consciences fully convinced of your Guilt, which was a sufficient Argument to condemn you to Death, without the formal Proofs required by the strict Letter of the Law. (I:7;22)
...having in my Life perused many State-Tryals, which I ever observed to terminate as the Judges thought fit to direct... (I:7;22)
Neither had I so soon learned the Gratitude of Courtiers, to persuade myself that his Majesty's present Severities quitted me of all past Obligations. (I:7;22)
He knew no reason why those who entertained opinions prejudicial to the public should be obliged to change, and should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second; for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to send them about for cordials. (II:6;15)
nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison (II:1;1)
This made me reflect how vain an attempt it is for a Man to endeavor doing himself Honour among those who are out of all Degree of equality or Comparison with him. (II:5)
...Reason did not extend it self with the Bulk of the Body: On the contrary, we observed in our Country, that the tallest Persons were usually least provided with it. That among other Animals, Bees and Ants had the Reputation of more Industry, Art and Sagacity, than many of the larger Kinds; (II:6;5)
I cannot but conclude the Bulk of your Natives to be the most pernicious Race of little odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the Surface of the Earth. (II:6)
whoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country than the whole race of politicians put together. (II:7)
I winked at my own Littleness as People do at their own faults (II:8)
intreated me to give him something as an Encouragement to Ingenuity.... I made him a small Present, for my Lord had furnished me with Money on Purpose, because he knew their Practice of begging from all who go to see them. (III:5;3)
because in reality all things imaginable are but Nouns. (III:5;20
... Moderation, as well as Regularity of Thinking, so much to be wished for in the Heads of those who imagine they come into the World only to watch and govern its Motion: (III:6;6)
Men are never so Serious, Thoughtful, and Intent, as when they are at Stool (III:6;10)
I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, Piety to Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers. (III:8;5)
Here I discovered the secret Causes of many great Events that have surprized the World, how a Whore can Govern the Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council a Senate. (III:8)
There was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving by words multiplied for the purpose, that white is black and black is white, according as they are paid. (IV:5)
For although few Men will avow their Desires of being immortal upon such hard Conditions ... he observed that every Man desired to put off Death for sometime longer, let it approach ever so late, and he rarely heard of any Man who died willingly, except he were incited by the Extremity of Grief or Torture. (III:10;12)
"... if my Neighbour hath a Mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer to prove that he ought to have my Cow from me." ( IV:5;13)
It is a Maxim among these Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: (IV:5;15)
Poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud; and Pride and Hunger will ever be at variance. (IV:5)
That Wine was not imported among us from foreign Countries, to supply the want of Water or other Drinks, but because it was a sort of Liquid which made us merry, by putting us out of our Senses; diverted all melancholy Thoughts, begat wild extravagant Imaginations in the Brain, raised our Hopes, and banished our Fears, suspended every Office of Reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our Limbs, till we fell into a profound Sleep; although it must be confessed, that we always awoke sick and dispirited, and that the use of this Liquor filled us with Diseases, which made our Lives uncomfortable and short. (IV:6)
... there was a sort of People bred up among us, in the Profession or Pretense of curing the Sick. (IV:6)
For Nature (as the Physicians alledge) having intended the superior anterior Orifice only for the intromission of Solids and Liquids, and the inferior for Ejection, these Artists ingeniously considering that in all Diseases Nature is forced out of her Seat; therefore to replace her in it, the Body must be treated in a Manner directly contrary, by interchanging the Use of each Orifice, forcing Solids and Liquids in at the Anus, and making Evacuations at the Mouth. (IV:6)
One great Excellency in this Tribe is their Skill at Prognostics, wherein they seldom fail; their Predictions in real Diseases, when they rise to any Degree of Malignity, generally portending Death, which is always in their Power when Recovery is not: And therefore, upon any unexpected Signs of Amendment, after they have pronounced their Sentence, rather than be accused as false Prophets, they know how to approve their Sagacity to the World by a seasonable Dose. (IV:6)
That he applies his Words to all Uses, except to the Indication of his Mind; That he never tells a Truth, but with an Intent that you should take it for a Lye; nor a Lye, but with a Design that you should take it for a Truth; That those he speaks worst of behind their Backs, are in the surest way of Preferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to others or to your self, you are from that Day forlorn. The worst Mark you can receive is a Promise, especially when it is confirmed with an Oath; after which every wise Man retires, and gives over all Hopes. (IV:6)
But in order to feed the Luxury and Intemperance of the Males, and the Vanity of the Females, we sent away the greatest Part of our necessary Things to other Countries, from whence in return we brought the Materials of Diseases, Folly, and Vice, to spend among ourselves. (IV:6)
That he looked upon us as sort of Animals to whose Share, by what Accident he could not conjecture, some small Pittance of Reason had fallen, whereof we made no other Use than by its Assistance to aggravate our natural Corruptions, and to acquire new ones which Nature had not given us: (IV:7)
And my Master thought it monstrous in us to give the Females a different kind of Education from the Males, except in some Articles of Domestick Management; whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our Natives were good for nothing but bringing Children into the World: And to trust the Care of our Children to such useless Animals, he said, was yet a greater Instance of Brutality. (IV:8)
However, I could not reflect without some Amazement, and much Sorrow, that the Rudiments of Lewdness, Coquetry, Censure, and Scandal, should have place by Instinct in Womankind. (IV:7;20)
my principal Design was to Inform, and not to amuse thee. (IV:12;1
So that I hope I may with Justice pronounce myself an Author perfectly blameless (IV:12;6)
For instance, A Crew of Pyrates are driven by a Storm they know not whither, at length a boy discovers Land from the Top-mast, they go on Shore to Rob and Plunder; they see an harmless People, are entertained with Kindness, they give the Country a new Name, they take formal Possession of it for their King, they set up a rotten Plank or a Stone for a Memorial, they murder two or three Dozen of the Natives, bring away a couple more by Force for a Sample, return Home, and get their Pardon. Here commences a new Dominion acquired with a Title by Divine Right. Ships are sent with the first Opportunity, the Natives driven out or destroyed, their Princes tortured to discover their Gold; a free Licence given to all Acts of Inhumanity and Lust, the Earth reeking with the Blood of its Inhabitants: And this execrable Crew of Butchers employed in so pious an Expedition, is a modern Colony sent to convert and civilize an idolatrous and barbarous People. (IV:12;8)
My Reconcilement to the Yahoo-kind in general might not be so difficult if they would be content with those Vices and Follies only, which Nature has entitled them to. (IV:12;14)
I am not in the least provoked at the Sight of a Lawyer, a Pick-pocket, a Colonel, a Fool, a Lord, a Gamester, a Politician, a Whore-Master, a Physician, an Evidence, a Suborner, an Attorney, a Traitor, or the like: This is all according to the due Course of Things: (IV:12)
But when I behold a Lump of Deformity, and Diseases both in Body and Mind, smitten with Pride, it immediately breaks all the Measures of my Patience; (IV:12)
[on pride] "therefore I here entreat those who have any Tincture of this absurd Vice , that they will not presume to come in my sight." (IV:12) |
